MVP

If you're anything like me—a grandmother in her super-duper, incredibly-late 50s—then this blog is for you. For over 38 years, my family has been my top priority. And for the first 28, it was all about my kids. Then, about 10 years ago, the grandkids, those adorable little chaos-makers came along and it was like adding a bonus level to a video game. Now, I'm looking at being the family MVP until, well, I kick the bucket.

Here's the scoop for all you future moms out there: Parenthood doesn't end at 18, or 21, or even 37. It ends... well, it never really ends, so buckle up! Be ready to make people you didn’t even give birth to a priority. And I'm not just talking about those sweet grandbabies. Oh no, I'm talking about your kids other halves. Yeah, the inlaws become a priority too. Welcome to the never-ending ride called motherhood! 🚀👵

Don't be the Dragon!

They say you get wiser with age. I'm almost 60, and honestly, I'm still waiting for that wisdom to kick in. I've been seeing all these Facebook posts about not letting people into your life if they don't have time for you. Sounds great, but what if those people are family members? Can't just unfriend Aunt Mildred, can you?

Here's my take on it—if you don’t value me, then you’ve become as useful as a screen door on a submarine. It doesn’t mean we won’t have awkward Thanksgiving dinners together; it just means I know where I stand. You’re in my life, but you’re not getting any of my good wine or my Netflix password.

People who are deliberately harmful? They can take a hike. And those who only find me valuable when they need something? Yep, they can join the hiking club too.

I've seen folks get what they deserve—both the good and the bad. Sometimes it takes a whole village to help someone through tough times. And if you’re not part of that village, well, you're basically the dragon they’re fighting. 🐉

Hi Mean Girl... I'm Batman!

Recently, I've noticed some high school drama vibes creeping into my workplace. Now, I'm more of a lone wolf—think Batman but with fewer gadgets and more coffee. But even I can see that exclusionary behavior is a one-way ticket to Hurt Feelings-ville, especially for those who are already feeling down or just trying to fit in.

Take, for instance, my birthday last year. Everyone at the office dressed like me. It was hilarious, inclusive, and nobody looked as fabulous as I did. Now, compare that to the mean girl antics where only a select few get to join the "cool kids club." Spoiler alert: it's not cool; it's toxic.

What should you do when faced with this pettiness? Should you confront them with a dramatic monologue worthy of an Oscar, or serve up a dish of their own medicine, chilled to perfection? While the answer isn't straightforward (and confronting them with a Shakespearean soliloquy might be overkill), it’s crucial to remember that being exclusionary is never okay.

To those indulging in mean girl behavior, a word of advice—karma’s a boomerang. Treat others with kindness and inclusivity. Not only will you create a positive environment, but you'll also set a great example for future generations. Remember, your kids are watching, and they're learning from your actions. Don't be a Regina George; be a Leslie Knope. Because nobody wants to end up lonely and realizing too late that genuine, supportive relationships are what truly matter.

My Turn!

I've realized it's time to stop making sacrifices for others and start prioritizing myself. If I don't take this step now, it might never happen—and that's a daunting thought. For so long, my life has revolved around meeting the needs of those around me, without anyone asking, "What about you? What will make you happy?"

It's time to change that narrative. I'm ready to focus on my own happiness and well-being. If I succeed, I'll share my journey and the strategies that helped me get there. Let's make our happiness a priority! 🌟

Where are my Thoughts?

I haven’t been blogging much lately, and I’m not entirely sure why. I have the time and plenty of thoughts to share, yet I rarely sit down to write. The issue might be that my ideas come at the most inconvenient times—like when I am making my bed and not near my computer. As a result, those thoughts go unwritten, which is a shame because articulating them could help clear my cluttered mind for new ideas.

It’s a shame because getting these thoughts out really helps clear my cluttered mind. Without that outlet, I find it harder to make good decisions. My old blog posts fill at least three thick books—real, substantial collections of my musings on life, the world, and everything in between. Over the past year, though, I haven’t blogged at all. Does this mean I’ve lost interest in my own life? I’m not sure.

But I’ve decided it’s time to start again, even if I feel like I have nothing significant to say. Someday, I’ll open one of those big books and find a blog post about a recipe I’d completely forgotten. And at that moment, it will all feel worth it.

Dennis is UNHAPPY

Life often presents us with difficult decisions and unexpected changes. Currently, we are contemplating whether to build a new house or buy an existing one, primarily because Dennis has grown tired of the pool we installed four years ago. His discontent has affected my own feelings toward the pool, and now it feels like a burden rather than a joy.

When you invest time, effort, and money into something, and it isn't appreciated, it can be disheartening. This extends beyond just the pool; it applies to the entire home. Our house is beautiful, with immaculate landscaping and a backyard that resembles a vacation oasis. But Dennis's reluctance to maintain the pool has dampened my enthusiasm as well. Everything in life requires effort, from maintaining our homes and bodies to enjoying activities outside. The yard should be no different.

However, Dennis's persistent complaints have led me to reconsider our living situation. I don't want to stay in a place where neither of us is happy. Yet, I also don't want to move into a house that lacks the amenities we currently enjoy. If we decide to move, the new place must meet all our needs, including spaces for our grandchildren to play when they visit.

Ultimately, we are at a crossroads. Whether we choose to build a new home, purchase an existing one, or stay put, our decision will shape our future.

Where are my people?

Am I the only one seeking more grown-up experiences? While my friends seem stuck in teenage habits, I'm craving connections with people who understand the challenges of adulthood. I want to bond with those who have kids, grandkids, and relatable life experiences. I'm not interested in chasing youth, finding new relationships, or obsessing over our looks. I want friends who accept that aging is a natural part of life and share similar perspectives. Are there others out there feeling the same way?

I am the one between

The one that came before me was a blue eyed beauty with thick long hair and long nails on eloquent hands. . She had a small frame and beautiful voice. She was active in her community through volunteer  work and community service. She was an excellent  seamstress,  a devout Christian, a hard worker, a talented artist and wonderful hands on mother. 

The one that came after me is a green eyed beauty with a small frame and a beautiful voice.  She has a tons of spunk and the desire to learn and implement her new found knowledge. She is resourceful and determined.  She works quickly and throughly. Shes a talented artist, a creative person,  a devout catholic, a talented artist and a wonderful mom. 

I came from one and poured my life into the other. 

Forever the Boss

Today Katie Short was telling me I wasn’t the boss of her.  I told her I would always be the boss of her because I was her mommy!  She started to argue and  joanie interjected: 

joanie:  momma!  Lolly will always be your momma even when she’s in heaven!!   

Katie: *heavy sigh* joanie…. Do you really think lollys going to heaven !?  Do you even know your Lolly?!?

Appliance Wars!

Dennis and I are learning to live together through his retirement. He has started to move things around and I am not a fan. So after a debate over which way the toaster needs to face, I had it!

Raven: If you don't put it back the way it goes it's going to disappear.

Dennis didn't think I was serious. So after I caught it in the wrong place again, I took it, cleaned it out and stored it in the cabinet directly under the counter from where it sat.

Cut to the next morning,,, I go to make myself a cup of coffee and the reservoir for my keurig is missing. Dennis is no where in sight but I know he hid it! So of course the only logical thing to do is to hide his coffee pot.

Eye for an eye...

The only problem is I am trying to do it in a hurry before he comes in the kitchen and I can't find a space big enough...Finally I think I found a spot above the microwave, but when I turned to be sure the coast was clear, Dennis's head was slightly peeking around the wall looking right at me!

Caught in the act I jumped 2 feet in the air and screamed, then laughed so hard I almost peed my pants! I don't know why! It wasn't funny that I got caught!

Coming all the way from behind the wall he just looks at me with an intense glare.

Me: Where's my water tank?

Dennis: Where's my toaster?

Me: Tell me first!

Dennis: No! It doesn't work that way! I couldn't even take my medicine this morning cause I couldn't make toast! That's elderly abuse!

I started playing the world's' tiniest violin with my fingers.

I purposely walked slowly out of the kitchen, head held high... with the his coffee pot still in my hand and went to change the bed sheets! When I was taking them to the laundry room Dennis stopped me.

Dennis: Just sit them down and I will do them.

Raven: Why don't you want me to start the sheets?

He says NOTHING.... just stares at me like we are fixing to draw guns in a showdown.

He and I both go toward the cabinet above the washer where the laundry soap is. I try to open it and he pushes it shut!

Raven: My water tank is in there I saw it!

Dennis: No it's not!

It was... and he had to give it to me cause "thems the rulz"!

I made sure he had his toaster and coffee pot back for the next day.... and it's worth mentioning the toaster hasn't been facing the wrong way since!

Happy wife.... happy life!

Some of my Favorite people! Easter 2024

Can Bug Spray kill a Cyclops?

I was peacefully writing in my hut when Dennis burst in holding a tissue with a tiny squashed bug.

Dennis: Look what I found on the kitchen floor.

Furrowing my brow....

Raven: What is it? An ant?

Dennis: No! It's a Cyclops!

Raven: A What?!

Dennis: It's a Cyclops!

As he showed me the tiny insect, squished on the tissue, I stared at him.

Raven: Dennis, it's just an ant.

Dennis: I'm getting the bug spray.

Cheap MF

Watching a show with Matthew where there was a funeral......

Raven:  Matthew, I want to be buried at sunset. 

Matthew:  I bet you got to pay extra for sunset services cause everything is closed.

Raven: I don't care if it cost more money. Don't let dad bury me at 10 in the morning.  I hate mornings!

Matthew: No, he will bury you at 8 in the morning because it's probably cheaper. The Early bird special!

Bladder Issues Discovered

Struggling with bladder issues? You're not alone. Doctors often rely on guesswork due to the lack of diagnostic tests for these symptoms, leading to misdiagnosis' and ineffective treatments like Botox.

Frustrated, I turned into Dr. Google and self-diagnosed myself after almost 2 years of research:

Overactive Bladder caused by Low estrogen and Red Dye

For me, low estrogen and red dye were the culprits. Think about your diet when symptoms started. Narrow down problematic foods based on when symptoms began. Red dye can really irritate your bladder and found in a lot of food. All Dyes are terrible for our body and only legal in the USA.

Menopause can also bring unexpected challenges like increased urination due to estrogen depletion. If sudden bladder issues arise... and nearing menopause - consider estrogen levels. Low estrogen affects urethra positioning. Also, focus on pelvic floor muscles. Feeling overly relaxed down there? Do Kegels.

I went to my doctor and got estrogen inserts and cut out food, bodywash, shampoos, lotions and make up with dyes in it. (surprisingly it isn't that hard to do.) The estrogen took about 2 weeks to notice a change and 4 months to make a difference with the plumping up my lady bits, and the bladder started to heal from the inflammation after about 4 weeks of no dyes. I also drink around 36 - 52 ounces of water a day oppose to the 8 - 24 oz I had been drinking. Flushing out the bladder really helps it heal.

Also, it is important to understand that not all Overactive Bladder cases involve wetting or urgency to reach the bathroom immediately; in fact 67% of people with OAB have OAB-Dry. This is where you feel the urge and frequency, but can wait to go without wetting yourself.

(Sidebar: they say that Botox wears off in 6 months.... mine did not for over 8 and my bladder still does not work like it did before the botox. and it's been 2 years. I would never recommend bladder botox as I believe it damages nerves and the organ itself.)

I’m not gay. But I love people and their life stories matter even if it’s not like mine. Romance is romance.

If I were a tree.....

One a trip back from Red River one year.  Tanner was lazily looking out the window and enjoying the passing scenery.  He saw a big lone cottonwood tree out in the middle of a field.  

Tanner:  Look at that tree.  If I were a tree, I would want to be that one.  Left alone, plenty of room to grow,  providing shade for cows..... that's a nice tree.

Then he looked at me and asked.  

Tanner:  Mom,  what kind of tree do you think you would be?

Without even waiting for me to answer Dennis chimed in

Dennis:  She'd be a cactus!