Dennis and I are learning to live together through his retirement. He has started to move things around and I am not a fan. So after a debate over which way the toaster needs to face, I had it!
Raven: If you don't put it back the way it goes it's going to disappear.
Dennis didn't think I was serious. So after I caught it in the wrong place again, I took it, cleaned it out and stored it in the cabinet directly under the counter from where it sat.
Cut to the next morning,,, I go to make myself a cup of coffee and the reservoir for my keurig is missing. Dennis is no where in sight but I know he hid it! So of course the only logical thing to do is to hide his coffee pot.
Eye for an eye...
The only problem is I am trying to do it in a hurry before he comes in the kitchen and I can't find a space big enough...Finally I think I found a spot above the microwave, but when I turned to be sure the coast was clear, Dennis's head was slightly peeking around the wall looking right at me!
Caught in the act I jumped 2 feet in the air and screamed, then laughed so hard I almost peed my pants! I don't know why! It wasn't funny that I got caught!
Coming all the way from behind the wall he just looks at me with an intense glare.
Me: Where's my water tank?
Dennis: Where's my toaster?
Me: Tell me first!
Dennis: No! It doesn't work that way! I couldn't even take my medicine this morning cause I couldn't make toast! That's elderly abuse!
I started playing the world's' tiniest violin with my fingers.
I purposely walked slowly out of the kitchen, head held high... with the his coffee pot still in my hand and went to change the bed sheets! When I was taking them to the laundry room Dennis stopped me.
Dennis: Just sit them down and I will do them.
Raven: Why don't you want me to start the sheets?
He says NOTHING.... just stares at me like we are fixing to draw guns in a showdown.
He and I both go toward the cabinet above the washer where the laundry soap is. I try to open it and he pushes it shut!
Raven: My water tank is in there I saw it!
Dennis: No it's not!
It was... and he had to give it to me cause "thems the rulz"!
I made sure he had his toaster and coffee pot back for the next day.... and it's worth mentioning the toaster hasn't been facing the wrong way since!
Happy wife.... happy life!
I was peacefully writing in my hut when Dennis burst in holding a tissue with a tiny squashed bug.
Dennis: Look what I found on the kitchen floor.
Furrowing my brow....
Raven: What is it? An ant?
Dennis: No! It's a Cyclops!
Raven: A What?!
Dennis: It's a Cyclops!
As he showed me the tiny insect, squished on the tissue, I stared at him.
Raven: Dennis, it's just an ant.
Dennis: I'm getting the bug spray.
Struggling with bladder issues? You're not alone. Doctors often rely on guesswork due to the lack of diagnostic tests for these symptoms, leading to misdiagnosis' and ineffective treatments like Botox.
Frustrated, I turned into Dr. Google and self-diagnosed myself after almost 2 years of research:
Overactive Bladder caused by Low estrogen and Red Dye
For me, low estrogen and red dye were the culprits. Think about your diet when symptoms started. Narrow down problematic foods based on when symptoms began. Red dye can really irritate your bladder and found in a lot of food. All Dyes are terrible for our body and only legal in the USA.
Menopause can also bring unexpected challenges like increased urination due to estrogen depletion. If sudden bladder issues arise... and nearing menopause - consider estrogen levels. Low estrogen affects urethra positioning. Also, focus on pelvic floor muscles. Feeling overly relaxed down there? Do Kegels.
I went to my doctor and got estrogen inserts and cut out food, bodywash, shampoos, lotions and make up with dyes in it. (surprisingly it isn't that hard to do.) The estrogen took about 2 weeks to notice a change and 4 months to make a difference with the plumping up my lady bits, and the bladder started to heal from the inflammation after about 4 weeks of no dyes. I also drink around 36 - 52 ounces of water a day oppose to the 8 - 24 oz I had been drinking. Flushing out the bladder really helps it heal.
Also, it is important to understand that not all Overactive Bladder cases involve wetting or urgency to reach the bathroom immediately; in fact 67% of people with OAB have OAB-Dry. This is where you feel the urge and frequency, but can wait to go without wetting yourself.
(Sidebar: they say that Botox wears off in 6 months.... mine did not for over 8 and my bladder still does not work like it did before the botox. and it's been 2 years. I would never recommend bladder botox as I believe it damages nerves and the organ itself.)
One a trip back from Red River one year. Tanner was lazily looking out the window and enjoying the passing scenery. He saw a big lone cottonwood tree out in the middle of a field.
Tanner: Look at that tree. If I were a tree, I would want to be that one. Left alone, plenty of room to grow, providing shade for cows..... that's a nice tree.
Then he looked at me and asked.
Tanner: Mom, what kind of tree do you think you would be?
Without even waiting for me to answer Dennis chimed in
Dennis: She'd be a cactus!
Why fuss, she argues? In her eyes, the place is practically utopia. They cook for her, clean for her, even mop and sparkle up the bathroom - it's like living in a hotel that you never have to check out of. There's entertainment on tap, and should anything dare to break, it's fixed in a jiffy. "What's there to gripe about?"
However........ my mom does have one beef - and it's not with the service. Nope, it's with a fellow resident she finds less than delightful. This lady apparently missed the memo on being kind and Oh, the drama unfolded like a scene right out of a daytime soap opera!
Picture this: This lady made the classic mistake of crossing words about one of my mom's children.... That's right, they poked the mama bear and the ladies at my mom's table - you know, her loyal squad - had to practically form a human barrier to prevent a full-on "lights out" scenario. My mom, being the queen of sass and class, delivered a comeback so epic, not anything like: "hold-my-earrings" but more of a explanation on how my mom was going to knock her dentures out of her head. This lady could do nothing but retreat. She scurried away, tail between her legs.
A few sunsets later, this lady waltzes back into the drama, toting a big ol' apology in her hand. My mom, in a move that could only be described as classic her, accepts the apology. Then the lady wanted to know if they could now be friends now and my moms response was a hard NO! She basically said, "Look, honey, I've seen how you treat the folks here, and it's not pretty. Rudeness is a friendship deal-breaker for me!"
Moral of the story? My mom might not be running around fixing the world's problems (or even the minor inconveniences of her living community), but don't cross her family, or you'll get a candid piece of her mind. It's comedic gold – a sitcom episode in the making.
My mom, ladies and gentlemen, the non-complaining, party-loving, straight-talking president of her assisted living place.
Have we reached a parenting low, or is it just me? Moms are too busy perfecting their fake lashes and scrolling through social media to hear their kids' cries. Dare to point this out, and they play the "offended" card, labeling you a mom shamer! Is telling the truth about harmful parenting now off-limits? Does "mom-shaming" shield moms from taking responsibility when their actions harm their children? While some worry about borders and politics, I'm fretting over the silent victims of struggling mothers who are missing the mark on motherhood!
Moms have found a sneaky loophole in parental duties – handing an iPad or game remote to keep the kids entertained. The fridge might be packed with sugary, preservative-loaded snacks, but are kids learning how to socialize? As moms aim for TikTok stardom, their kids might end up in a sugar-induced coma. Screens have become babysitters, leaving no space for real conversations. Are children being raised or simply tolerated? We already know the answer. That's what's sad.
Some might say I'm the reigning champion of "I'll do it later" land, with a gold medal in procrastination. Truth be told, this habit turns me into a bit of a stress-ball. You might think that intentionally turning my life into a pressure cooker sounds like a recipe for disaster, but surprise—it's actually my secret sauce for brilliance!
See, without the adrenaline rush of a looming deadline, my productivity is pretty much a sleepy sloth. Yes, I’m aware of my tasks and where I need to be, but somehow, the motivation plays hide and seek with me—and it's really good at hiding. Time? Oh, that slippery little thing means nothing to me, making my day-to-day a juggling act where I'm constantly dropping the balls.
I keep pondering if there'll come a day when I ditch this merry-go-round for a more straight-laced approach to tasks.
Procrastination and stress, the dynamic duo that somehow gets me to the finish line—albeit looking like a mad scientist who's just had a eureka moment after days of no sleep. The plot twist? The pressure cooker method, while slightly bonkers, turns out to be my strange muse.
