An Apology Without Change Is Just Noise

I hate an empty apology. Sometimes I think it’s more insulting than no apology at all. “I’m sorry I got caught,” “I’m sorry you didn’t like what I did,” and especially “I’m sorry you feel that way” all say the same thing to me—you’re not really sorry you hurt me. You’re sorry there’s a problem now.

To me, that’s a slap in the face. It makes me feel like you don’t really care about my feelings, and eventually that makes me care a whole lot less about protecting yours.

A real apology is simple: “I’m sorry I hurt you. I may not have meant to, but now that I know I did, I’ll try not to do it again.” It’s heartfelt, it takes some ownership, and there’s an effort to learn from it.

I don’t expect perfection. People screw up. I screw up. You may hurt my feelings again over something completely different. But if I’ve specifically told you something hurts me and you purposely keep doing that same thing, then your apology doesn’t mean much.

I don’t need groveling or some big dramatic speech. I just need to know you give a shit that you hurt me. Own it, learn from it and try to do better.

Because “I’m sorry” isn’t supposed to erase what you did. It’s supposed to show me you cared enough that you wish you hadn’t done it.

The Problem With Making a Big Decision

 There are some decisions in life that are easy. Do I want chocolate or vanilla? Am I going to wear my good jeans or the ones with the elastic waist? Do I want to get up and do something productive, or would I rather sit here and pretend I am resting when I am actually just staring into space? Those decisions I can handle. But then life decides to throw a big, important decision at you, and suddenly you need a committee, a spreadsheet, three opinions, a backup plan, and possibly a nap.

And if you are anything like me, you don't just make a decision. You think about it. Then you think about what could happen if you make the wrong decision. Then you think about what could happen if you make the right decision but something still goes wrong. Then you wonder if you should have made a completely different decision in the first place. By the time you are finished, you have mentally lived out seventeen possible futures, and you still haven't made a single decision.

I have discovered something over the last four weeks: making one big decision doesn't mean you are finished making decisions. It apparently means you have just opened the door to a whole bunch of smaller ones.

About four weeks ago, Dennis and I decided to put our house on the market. That was the big decision. You would think once you make the big decision, you can breathe a little. Nope. It sold right away.

Now we have to decide what happens next. Do we build or do we buy? Do we settle for a home that is "okay," or do we build one that is perfect? When do we start building? Where do we live in the meantime? What do we pack? What do we get rid of? What do we keep? What do we need in the next house? What can we live without for nine months? How much do we spend? Do we sign a year lease? Do we pay more a month for a month-to-month lease? What if the buyers can't buy it? And every answer seems to create another question. I am getting to where I hate questions.

I swear, we haven't made a single decision without immediately discovering that it requires another decision. It's like every answer comes with a complimentary subscription to three more questions.

The hardest part is that these aren't little decisions. They affect our future. We are trying to make choices that make sense for us now and for the years ahead. And that brings up another question: Do we do what is easy for us right now, or do we remember what the end goal is and take the time to get there?

Because sometimes the easiest choice isn't necessarily the best choice. Sometimes getting to where you want to be means being patient, being uncomfortable for a little while, and taking the longer road.

And I would really appreciate it if life would just hand me a multiple-choice test with one answer circled in red. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Sometimes you just have to gather the information, talk it over, worry about it a little more than necessary, and then make the best decision you can. So that's where we are right now. We made one big decision, and apparently, we still have about 147 to go.

Somewhere in These Boxes Is My Sanity

Right now, pretty much my entire life is in BOXES. We’re moving, and because we’ll be waiting on our new house, a lot of this stuff is going to STAY in boxes for probably the next 10 months... And somewhere in those boxes… is apparently my sanity. 😂

I cannot WAIT to have a craft room again. I didn’t realize how much I need that creative outlet until I didn’t have access to it. I need a project. I need something to plan, paint, glue, decorate, rearrange, make for a friend, make for myself—or completely screw up and start over. 😂

Right now, I feel boxed up right along with everything else. My supplies are packed. My stuff is packed. My house is in transition. And apparently my brain does NOT appreciate being told, “We’ll get back to that sometime next year.”

I need something to do with my hands AND my brain. It makes me wonder about people who don’t have hobbies or interests. What do you DO with all your time? Seriously. Sit around and wait to get old? Wait to die? I can’t imagine it. Especially now that I’m retired, I realize how important it is to have things you actually WANT to do. Something that makes you think, Oooooh, I want to try that! Something you can look forward to besides what’s on TV tonight.

I want to always have a project waiting on me. And apparently, for the next 10 months, I’m going to have to figure out how to be creative without having access to half the crap I use to BE creative. 😂 Someday those boxes are going to get opened. I’ll have my craft room. I’ll spread my crap everywhere. I’ll start six projects at once. And Dennis will probably wonder where I'm at!  Until then… somewhere in these boxes is my sanity.

Sometimes You Have to Analyze Your Husband

Sometimes you have to analyze your husband before you get aggravated with him. 😂

Today we have the inspection on the house, so we’ve been trying to clean up all the packing clutter and make the place look somewhat like normal people still live here.

I worked out this morning and walked two miles, so when I got home I jumped in the shower.

Now, this girl was NOT putting that dirty bra back on. 😂 My other one was in the dryer.

Dennis kept going to the dryer, pulling it out and trying to hand it to me.

“It’s still damp.”

Back in the dryer.

A few minutes later, here he comes with it again.

“Dennis…it’s STILL damp.”

Back in the dryer.

By this point he’s getting aggravated, I’m getting aggravated, and I’m thinking, Why in the world does this man care so much about when my bra gets dry?!

And then it hit me.

THE INSPECTOR IS COMING. 😂😂😂

This man wasn’t trying to rush the drying process.

He was trying to make sure I had a bra on before some strange man started wandering through our house. 😂

So instead of getting mad, I just looked at him and said:

“Thank you for having my back and making sure I had my bra before the inspector got here.”

Literally and figuratively. 😂

Thirty-plus years of marriage teaches you something: sometimes you need to stop and figure out WHY your husband is driving you crazy before you decide he’s actually driving you crazy.

Sometimes he’s just looking out for you.

And apparently…your boobs. 😂

Just Google it

Somebody Needed to Say It: Google It

We need to talk about something I see on Facebook almost daily.

“Does anyone know what time Walmart closes?”

Ma’am.

You are currently holding the entire internet in your hand. 😂

The same device you used to open Facebook, find a community group, type your question, and wait for 47 strangers to answer.

“10:00.”

“Pretty sure it’s 11.”

“My cousin went last Tuesday and they were open.”

“Following.”

FOLLOWING FOR WHAT, SUSAN? STORE HOURS?! 😂

By the time you typed the question, waited for responses, read the arguments, and figured out which answer was actually right…

You could’ve Googled it 40 times.

And Google doesn’t say, “Uh… I think 10:00.”

Somebody needed to say it. 😂