A blog of mine worth revisiting...

Ambitious or Never Satisfied?

Crap! It's that one girl!



I celebrate 19 years with this man this month~!  Where's my damn COOKIE!

Who would have thought a blind date would lead to 19 years?  Miracles happen every day. Here's the story on how it came to be....

I babysat for Mike and Kim.  Mike worked with Dennis.  I had just broke up with Ronnie.  Mike came to pick up his kids and said.... "Hey! I know this guy....."

Mike also told Dennis... "Hey, my babysitter just broke up with her boyfriend... you wanna check it out?"  Dennis was like "yeah, sure why not."

Mike tries to tell me what Dennis looks like:  "He's a really nice guy... He wears glasses and they kinda make his eyes big."  (Oh THAT sounds attractive!)

Mike tries to explain to Dennis who I am:  "She sometimes goes to the Spa and she is blond and tall... Dennis thinks he might know who he is explaining and doesn't like me.  But can't be sure... so he still agrees.

Date Night -  We both go to Mike and Kim's.  Dennis is repeating in his head.. "I hope it isn't that one girl! I hope it isn't that one girl! I hope it isn't that one girl!"

I walk in... and in his mind he says.. "CRAP!  It's that one girl!"

We go to see the movie SPEED.  We hardly speak, he never asks for my number.  We say goodnight.

Cut to one month later.  July 2

I go to spa with a friend that finds a biker more interesting than me and leaves me stranded... I need a ride home... I see Dennis watching me.......Kinda creepy.......  So I say "HI!  you remember me?"
He says "yes."
I say..."Can you give me a ride home?"

He owned a kitchen table with chairs......And the rest is history! 

Our converstations.... what have we become?!?!

Dennis:  Here tastes this.

Raven:  NO!  It's ocean water!

Dennis:  It's tastes really salty!

Raven:  DUH!

****

Dennis:  I ate something that upset my stomach.

Raven:    Are you okay?  You feel like you wanna throw up

Dennis:  No.  Just gassy.  I swear I could blow up an inner tube!

Raven:  TMI

****

We SUCK at our Parenting Skills!

Matthew could not keep his eyes open. Here we were - Hollywood Studios in Florida, the epitome of excitement, and my kid decides this is the time to take a nap? He leaned on poles, on me, on walls—basically, anything that supported him. The boy even dozed off while waiting in line for rides! Eventually, we stopped for lunch, thinking food might revive him. Nope. Once he finished eating, his head hit the table like a cement bag. Moments later... not a twitch. Out cold. For Matthew my ADHD kid, that’s the universal sign. He was done.

We tried to wake him gently, but you can’t reason with someone who’s reached a coma-level slumber. What’s a family to do? Oh, we walked away. That’s right. Cleaned up the table, tossed our trash, slid those super loud benches back into place (because why not?), and just strolled off. Meanwhile, Matthew stayed sprawled there, happily snoring in public like he owned the place.

Now, it gets better. I spotted a cast member nearby and, fueled by equal parts mischief and parental exasperation, asked her to help us out. She could hardly contain her laughter but eventually agreed. With some coaxing (OK, some light bullying from me), she tapped his arm gingerly. No response. She tapped again—harder this time, because this kid sleeps like a rock—until finally, she said with a perfect deadpan, “Excuse me, sir? Are you done with this table?”

Matthew bolted upright like a deer in headlights, drool prominently featured (a classic Matthew move). Confused, he scanned the scene only to realize he was utterly abandoned. The tables nearby? Filled with giggling spectators. His response to seeing us at a safe distance? “You guys SUCK as parents!”

Of course, embarrassment only wakes you up so much, so we figured it was time for drastic measures. Enter the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. If plummeting 13 stories—four times in a row—doesn’t shake you out of nap mode, nothing will. Astonishingly, it worked. Matthew was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed after that.

Parenting at its finest, folks!

Ha Ha!