Omg did I just delete my blog!!!!!!!

Christmas blues... My boy needs to move home

I miss my boy every day but holidays are harder,  I miss how he would sit by the tree for hours trying to figure what that ONE present was, asking me question after question.  When he was 15 I bought him his first guitar but didn't put it under the tree.  I knew if I wrapped it he would manhandle it like all the other presents that were his under the tree.  He spent HOURS driving me nuts trying to figure out not only where I hid it but what it is that I HAD to hide it.  He would ask:  "Is it bigger than a bread box?  Can I take it places?  Will it fit in a toaster!?  Can I put it in my pocket?"   I told him you can take it on the roof if you want!  He was stumped! But so excited to see what I got him,  He has always loved to get gifts and no matter what they were , he thanked you for them and appreciated them.   I  haven't got to see him open gifts for the last two years, nor do I get the build up before hand with the 20 question games!   I also miss how he hung around the kitchen for hours as I prepared the meal.  and telling him the olives and the eggs where for DINNER!  And believe it or not, I really miss him aggravating his siblings.  I hope this is the last Christmas I have to be away from him.

Now what?

How can something so insignifantly small be the last straw in a hay stack full of straws?  I don't hear a climax of music or feel a triumph of victory.  There isn't even a "ah huh!" Moment.  There is just realization that this is not my path.  And I want more.   

Things I don’t get

I know I am getting old (er) but there are some things that I don’t get…  like:

1     Why do women draw on their eyebrows…AND why do they draw them so high and arched?
2     Why do they put so many handi capped parking spaces in the parking lot…they get further from the main entrance… doesn’t that defeat the purpose?
3     Why do we have insurance if we still have to pay the bill?
4     Why have a fire place if the heat goes up and doesn’t heat the house?
5     Why have NINE traffic lights within 2 miles?
6     What is the REAL purpose of golf???
7     Why have a job if you never go to work?

The Journey

 Love.  Accept.  Look.  Enjoy.

Love what you have now.  Accept who you are now.  Take time to look around and realized who was beside your when you were on that road to getting there, and Enjoy the ride because basically that is all we have at the end of it all… the journey.