To have a house like this!

 

"Vacations: Where Time is a Thing of the Past and Routine is Nonexistent!

You know what's great about vacations? I get to ditch my watch and live on my own schedule. No more strict bedtimes or being constrained by time! I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.  If I wanna swim... I'll swim!  If I want to watch a season of Shameless in one night... I can!  No more plans dictating my life. It's pure freedom, my friend. As for routines, forget about 'em. It's 3:25 a.m. and I am up writing!  I would've never survived in the army. Let's just say, I like to march to the beat of my own drum.

The right answer was worth $1,000,000!

Matthew called me awhile ago for probably the 14th time today so answering the phone I wondered what could he possibly have left to tell say to me that he hasn’t already said.

On one of our earlier conversation he had called to ask me what grandma‘s phone number was. 

~Now keep in mind that this is not the first time he’s asked me what her phone number is and yet every time he wants to call her, he calls me and asks for her phone number. You would think a boy with an iPhone would the able to figure out how to save a contact.~

Anyway, I sent him her number for the 1,345,565 time.   He tried to call her on his lunch break around noon, but she didn’t answer the phone. So he goes on about his day.  At 10:00 tonight she called him back and said hey, I noticed you called me today. 😳  Matthew said “Grandma!!  How busy are you? That was 10 hours ago!!  lol. 

After they chatted for a minute she ask him what he was doing tomorrow.  He told her he had to work and she said “oh?  Well I was gonna give you $1 million dollars if you come and see me!  Matthew said “Well grandma I can come there right now!” 

My Hatchets are on fire!

So, I have decided I must have been a Jester in a past life. 

Goofy shoes, goofy hat.... Seriously, it's the only thing that explains my crazy ass!  This would also explain my clumsy feet, weird nature and the constant need  to make a fool of myself.  None of this, however, explains why I trip in the exact same spot every day in the hall way to my office.

I thought a jester knew how to juggle shit without missing a beat.  I mean, if you chose the profession of jester, you would think you have some talent for it.  Otherwise be a goat herder or sheep farmer, or sell home made braclets at the fair!  And jesters can also catch things they juggle…. balls, plates, hatchets that are on fire …. or whatever it is they choose to juggle… then they catch them with a smile on their face!    

I, on the other hand, do not KNOW how to juggle.  YET, I seem to try, but instead of balls...  I’m throwing up things like …. Expanded ideas, daily work problems, clients, relationships goals, unfinished projects, staff issues,  work issues , health issues, political bullshit... the list is endless and I wonder …. Where the hell do they go?  My facial express is a look of terror!  Are they just staying up there mocking me while I am waiting for them all to crash to the ground around me?

I'm so tired of juggling.  No matter how well I get at juggling, someone ads one more fire laced hatchet!  

I am stressed to the max with a smile on my face.  It's my own fault.  I am an over achiever and a dreamer, and unapologetic about both.  Add a pinch of vanity and you have a jester juggling life I suppose.     

The real fear is, one of the things I am juggling is going to knock into another one mid air, and before you know it, it will be raining mayhem for days. Yes, that is how many hatchets I have up in the air.  

But  you can’t stop living life... so I guess I better get better at juggling.