Which Came First? Procrastination or Stress? It's a vicious cycle I can't break

Some might say I'm the reigning champion of "I'll do it later" land, with a gold medal in procrastination. Truth be told, this habit turns me into a bit of a stress-ball. You might think that intentionally turning my life into a pressure cooker sounds like a recipe for disaster, but surprise—it's actually my secret sauce for brilliance!

See, without the adrenaline rush of a looming deadline, my productivity is pretty much a sleepy sloth. Yes, I’m aware of my tasks and where I need to be, but somehow, the motivation plays hide and seek with me—and it's really good at hiding. Time? Oh, that slippery little thing means nothing to me, making my day-to-day a juggling act where I'm constantly dropping the balls.

I keep pondering if there'll come a day when I ditch this merry-go-round for a more straight-laced approach to tasks.

Procrastination and stress, the dynamic duo that somehow gets me to the finish line—albeit looking like a mad scientist who's just had a eureka moment after days of no sleep. The plot twist? The pressure cooker method, while slightly bonkers, turns out to be my strange muse.

I’m in mourning

Today is my last day of being 58.  I have not like these last years of my 50’s.  My health is declining, I can feel it.  I take 4 prescriptions now and I’m losing what looks I had. My hair is on its last leg and my body aches somewhere new every day. 

 I feel like I have had a good life.  I have been my own boss for 32 years of my career. The career that was forced on me as a single mother. I have been able to support a family with its income most years.  I was lucky enough not to have to do it alone. 

I have raised 3.5 kids with pretty good values and to be productive members of society… at least I have cut the apron strings. I’ll let you decide who the .5 is. 😉 

I could have done things differently…. I would have in hindsight… but it is what it is now.  We work to play and we play to work.  Not many get a free ride. I’m not ready to enter my 60’s but if it means I leave these nasty 50’s behind then it might be worth it! 

This thing's going to out live me!

When I bought this plant... like five or six years ago, it was a little bitty, and a tiny little pot.  I thought "oh this is really cute." I had a great place for it to ad a little color to the kitchen... and you know with my luck with plants, I would only have it for a couple months, then it would die, and then I’ll get something else to go there. Nope! Dennis started taking care of it and we have had it now for six years!!! We’ve had to re-pot it twice, and it looks like it needs it again! I got quit buying plants. 

Sammi (grand baby #3) came to the daycare after school wearing her “100 days of school” outfit, and then she told me that she dressed like I did when I was in school! 😳😳😂😂 Maybe 32 years of childcare hasn't aged me so well!

Motherhood

To every mother who feels a little alone today, please take this post and pocket it.  

You know what is hard? Motherhood. 

You know what is amazing ? Motherhood. 

You know what is lonely? Motherhood (even though you are never alone, like ever). 

You know what makes you feel like the biggest failure? Motherhood. 

You know what makes you feel like you are super human? Motherhood. 

You know what makes you feel like you are crazy? Motherhood. 

You know what  makes you feel like the most patient person in the world? Motherhood. And guess what makes you feel like the most impatient person in the world, yup, Motherhood. 

You know what brings out your worst side? Motherhood. You know what brings out your best side? Motherhood. 

Motherhood, it is full of oxymorons, polar opposites, fear, doubt, joy, love, and literally every single emotion in between and some you didn’t even know existed.Wherever you are on this motherhood spectrum, from brand new to having grand children, all of us feel these emotions! And it’s the reason we do it. 

Motherhood is a journey filled with love, joy, and challenges. It teaches us patience, resilience, and selflessness. We experience the highs of watching our children grow and achieve their dreams, and the lows of sleepless nights and endless worries. But through it all, the love we have for our children keeps us going. It's a love that knows no bounds and a bond that cannot be broken. 

So, wherever you are in your motherhood journey, remember that you are not alone. We are all united by the incredible gift of being a mother.