My Life in a Nut shell!

BAM SUCKER

I got up and got dressed.... nice clothes, not bummy ones...Put on make up!... FIXED my hair... didn't pull it up or put on a cap.  I was looking good enough to be out and about. I go to the store  and I won't tell you which one, but not because I don't want too... but because I shouldn't.  AND the sales jerk..( not clerk) says:...

You tired?

I say.... er , NO? 

She says:  You look tired!

WTH?!?  I know YOUR not working on commission! Why do I look tired?  I didn't look tired 15 minutes ago when I left the house!  I can tell you this... even if I did look tired... I looked better then she did! 

BAM SUCKER!

Swimsuit suicide watch! I can't believe I pay for this torture!

This mess spells depression!  The Sales lady will love me!

So... I bit the bullet today and finally went swim suit shopping! Only took me 5 years!  And let me just say, that was the most depressing 3 hours of my life! My friend Tracy went with me and I swear she brought me every swimsuit they had... every color.... every style... and none of them made me look even near 18 again. or 21, or 34, or 46... or.... well you get the point! UGH!

What happened to the fun time of buying that perfect suit with your friends, the one that hugged you in the right places and showed off what little you had.  And the fact that you wanted the boys to see you in it.  Laying out with your friends at a public pool or a lake!  NOW, I am looking for a swimsuit that not only sucks in, lifts up, divides, conquers, trims, molds, squashes, separates, reshapes and defines, but also one that will look good completely covered up with a large Sarong wrapped around my entire body!   And we PAY for this?!?!

If I wasn't going to the Atlantic Ocean in a couple of weeks... I would not have bought one!

Life is unfair and who needs it!!!  Why must women trade in their perfect little OP bodies when they have kids?!?!  Oh who am I kidding... I got this figure from my love of chocolate ice cream!  Well... here's to Special K for breakfast, lunch and dinner the next couple of weeks!!!

SUNBURNED!!!!! Holy Hell

I am on this mission to tan.  Why?  Cause I am going to Florida and the beach. I want to wear nice cool flowing sun dresses and sandals and be comfortable... I don't want to be the pasty white girl on the beach looking pathetic, so I thought I would get my tan on.

 

I got my burn on! 

It hurts. 

Holy Hell!

 

When I told Dennis that I didn't' want to look stupid at the beach all white, he said,  "Yeah, now you get to go all peeling and gross!  That's the look to go for!" Smart ass husband.... 

 

I forgot how a sunburn hurts!  I am a dumb ass! 

I am a Librocubicularist!

Okay so I am a librocubisularist.  There!  I admit it.  I enjoy that time of day.  And I also wear my hair up and have glasses.  I prop up on numerous pillows and even sometimes have a robe up all the way to my neck, with a hot cup of something ready at all times.  But I am not understanding the thigh highs.  Pretty sure I don't own a pair or would wear them while I read.  They are a little scary, and frankly.... it makes me uncomfortable just seeing this.  Plus I think this chick fell asleep as she has no pupils!