December 12, 2024

What you missed while you were busy “exploring life choices”

  1. The world moved on without you. People learned three new dances for TikTok, discovered a new non-dairy milk substitute (potato milk is apparently a thing now), and somehow decided cargo pants are back in style. Yes, cargo pants.
  2. Your plants didn’t. They’re officially auditioning for the role of “decorative twigs.” Bravo, truly. Strong performance.
  3. The rest of us mastered the art of “replying to emails within five business days” because adulthood, it turns out, is mostly a reality TV show where you pretend you have it all together. Fact check: none of us do.

But don’t worry, there’s still time to catch up. Just... maybe start with the plants. They’ve been through enough.

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