An Empty Nest Doesn't Mean an Empty Life

I've never really understood why becoming an empty nester is supposed to mean you're suddenly lost without your children at home. Don't get me wrong, I understand missing them! I was one of those mothers who was involved in just about everything my kids did, and I wouldn't change a thing.

I was the mom making dinner for the team, stressing over tryouts, running forgotten homework up to school, and sitting through football games four nights a week. I hosted slumber parties and attended everything from dance recitals and school plays to basketball games and chili cook-offs. If my kids were involved, chances are I was there. And I loved it!

For years, their schedules were my schedules, their excitement was my excitement, and their disappointments sometimes hurt me more than they hurt them. Being a mother was the biggest part of my life, and I wouldn't trade those years for anything.

So I understand why some mothers struggle when that part of life changes. You spend years knowing exactly where everybody needs to be and what they need from you, and then suddenly nobody needs a ride, a permission slip signed, or you sitting in the bleachers cheering them on. You finally have time for yourself, and you aren't quite sure what to do with it!

But I've never believed that having an empty nest means having an empty life. I didn't spend all those years being an involved mother just to decide my job was finished when my children grew up. Motherhood doesn't end. It simply changes, and becoming a grandmother has been one of the best parts of that change.

Now I get to watch my children raise children of their own. I see their personalities, expressions, and sometimes even their attitudes showing up in my grandchildren. LOL! I get to enjoy the birthdays, school programs, holidays, and sleepovers all over again, only this time from a different seat. And thankfully, I'm not responsible for getting everybody to school on time!

Of course, there's a difference between staying involved and trying to control your grown children's lives. They have their own homes, responsibilities, and ways of raising their children. I don't expect to make their decisions. I just want us to continue enjoying being part of each other's lives, whether that's a Sunday dinner, a holiday, or an ordinary afternoon together.

And while I sometimes miss those crazy, busy years, I also enjoy the freedom that comes with this stage of life. I can spend time with my husband, enjoy my hobbies, make plans without checking four different schedules, and occasionally do absolutely nothing without somebody hollering, "Mom!"

Would I love to go back and relive some of those moments? Absolutely! Would I want to start all over and raise four children again? Not a chance! I've done my time! LOL!

I think sometimes we get so caught up in missing who our children used to be that we forget to appreciate who they've become. I raised mine to be independent adults with lives and families of their own. That's something to be proud of, not something to mourn.

I don't need to be the center of their world anymore. I just want to remain a meaningful part of it. My nest might be empty, but my family certainly isn't. It's just gotten bigger!