I’m convinced the internet has become the world’s most unqualified relationship counselor.
It doesn’t matter what someone posts. The advice is almost always the same.
“Cut them off.”
“Go no contact.”
“Give them an ultimatum.”
I swear, if someone posted, “My sister forgot my birthday,” half the comments would be, “She’s toxic. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.” Your husband leaves his socks on the floor? Divorce. Your mom calls too much? Block her. Your brother borrowed your ladder three years ago and still hasn’t brought it back? Clearly he doesn’t respect your boundaries.
At this point, I’m almost afraid to ask what kind of laundry detergent people recommend because somebody’s going to tell me my washing machine is gaslighting me.
Now, before anybody gets mad, let me say this. There are absolutely relationships that need distance. Some people are abusive. Some relationships are unhealthy. Sometimes walking away really is the healthiest thing you can do.
But I also think we’ve become way too comfortable telling complete strangers to make permanent decisions based on one paragraph on the internet. We don’t know the whole story. We don’t know the thirty years that came before the post. We don’t know if this is a lifelong pattern, a misunderstanding, or just one really bad Tuesday.
That decision belongs to the person living it—not to people scrolling Facebook while eating chips on the couch.
What concerns me is how often boundaries and ultimatums get lumped together like they’re the same thing. They’re not.
A boundary says, “This is what I need to do to protect my peace.”
An ultimatum says, “Do what I want, or else.”
There’s a difference.
Sometimes an ultimatum is nothing more than an adult version of standing on the playground with your arms crossed saying, “If you won’t play my game, I’m taking my toys and going home.” I’d like to think we’ve outgrown that.
Relationships are messy because people are messy. We misunderstand each other. We get hurt. We say things we wish we could take back. Sometimes we apologize. Sometimes we forgive. Sometimes we agree to disagree. And sometimes, after you've communicated, tried, prayed, cried, set healthy boundaries, and done everything you reasonably can, walking away really is the right decision.
But that decision should come from your heart, your experiences, and your circumstances—not because a hundred strangers typed, “Cut them off,” before they finished their morning coffee.
So by all means, listen to advice. Consider different perspectives. Learn from people who have walked a similar road.
Then close the app.
Because the people in the comments won't be sitting beside you five years from now wondering if the relationship could have been saved.
You will.
Protect your peace. Set healthy boundaries. But make sure the decision is yours.
Because while some bridges truly do need to be burned...
A whole lot of them just need a little maintenance.