It’s strange to wake up and realize you’re living the day you’ve feared your entire life.
Even as a little girl, I would think about the day my mom would die. The thought would sneak into my mind, and it would terrify me. I’d quickly push it away and tell myself I would think about it another day. There would be plenty of time for that later.
At night, I’d lie in my bed with my bedroom door open and the hallway light shining in. It was the only way I could fall asleep. And in the distance, I could hear my mom and dad talking in the kitchen or watching TV together. Those familiar sounds told me everything was okay. They were both home. They were both still here.
Now they’re both gone.
There isn’t another day to put those thoughts off. The day I spent my whole life dreading has finally come… and somehow, I’m living it.
Tonight, there won’t be voices drifting down the hallway. Just silence. No matter how many years you have with your parents, no matter how much you know this day is coming, nothing prepares you for the silence they leave behind.
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