Adulthood Doesn’t Come With a Mute Button

Were we all this much of a pansy growing up?

I keep reading about kids going virtual because they’re being bullied, switching to online school because the hallways feel too crowded, or avoiding situations because they make them uncomfortable. And I find myself wondering: when did the answer to everything uncomfortable become removing the uncomfortable thing?

Now before somebody loses their mind, I KNOW bullying can be serious. I’m not talking about a child being threatened, assaulted or genuinely unsafe. That absolutely needs to be dealt with.

I’m talking about normal life being uncomfortable.

We got picked on. We had kids who didn’t like us. We walked into cafeterias wondering where we were going to sit. We had teachers we couldn’t stand, crowded hallways, embarrassing moments, broken hearts, mean girls and kids who could be complete assholes.

And somehow we survived it.

More importantly, we learned how to deal with people.

That’s part of growing up. You learn that not everybody is going to like you. You learn how to stand up for yourself. You learn how to walk into a room where you don’t feel completely comfortable. You learn that anxiety and discomfort don’t automatically mean you’re in danger.

I worry that sometimes, in our attempt to protect kids from every bad feeling, we’re accidentally teaching them that they can’t handle bad feelings.

What happens when they’re adults?

Jobs are crowded. Bosses can be difficult. Coworkers can be jerks. Relationships hurt. People criticize you. Somebody will eventually hurt your feelings, leave you out, disagree with you or make you uncomfortable. There isn’t always going to be a virtual option where you can shut the laptop and make everybody disappear.

Obviously every child and every situation is different. Some kids genuinely thrive with virtual school, and sometimes leaving a bad environment is absolutely the right decision.

But removing every obstacle isn’t the same thing as helping a child overcome one.

Maybe our job isn’t to make sure our kids never feel uncomfortable.

Maybe our job is to teach them, “Yep, this sucks. Now let me show you that you can handle it.”

Because childhood is supposed to prepare you for adulthood.

And adulthood doesn’t come with a mute button.