Bye Felicia!

Today is the last day of 2020.  I am glad to see it go.  but realistically, how is 2021 going to be any better?  Yes we have the vaccine now, which is great, but I would bet we have we have to wear masks most if not all of this year.

Everyone is fussing with allergies because one day it rains and the next two it's sunny and in the 60's and then the next day it's snowing!  My poor boys where both home sick today.  Matthew went to the doctor and Tanner came to my house to get meds.  You can't even sneeze without people looking at you like you just spread the plaque.

Nope!  I am ready to kiss 2020 goodbye and hopefully with continuing social distancing and masks and hand washing we can make it to the vaccine.

Blessings

 

Proud Lolly Moment

 Two things I have to share that happened to me today.....

ONE- my sweet little grand boy Kieran who is 6 months old leaned for me from his mommas arms and grabbed my face and kissed me three times! (He had me at leaning to come to me on his own) and

TWO- my spunky granddaughter Sammi sang the carol baskin song to me! Lol proud moment!

Take that Christmas 2020!

55 Christmas's in the book!

9 Christmas's believing in Santa Claus

21 Christmas's before I became a mom.

25 Christmas's before I moved to Guymon.

25 Christmas's with Matthew

26 Christmas's with Dennis

26 Christmas's with Stephanie

31 Christmas's with Katie

33 Christmas's with Tanner

and 5 Christmas's as a Lolly!

Pictures of Christmas

 

2020

 

Realizations

Few times in my life I have experienced a feeling of realization. 

•  When I liked a boy and they didn't like me.  I was use to getting my way and the fact that I couldn't make a boy like me didn't sit well. 
• When I moved out of my parents house and didn't have the nice things they had.  I realized their stuff really wasn't my stuff.  I was merely borrowing it and would have to buy my own stuff!
• When I had a sink full of dishes and realized no-one would do those dishes but me.

Not all realizations are bad.  

• When I realized that I could eat as many kit kats in one sitting as I wanted to and noone could say different. or that I could even buy want I wanted to eat without someone telling me no.
• I could watch want I wanted or stay up as late as I want to.

41 years ago (1979) I was almost 15 years old and playing ping pong at first Baptist’s west youth group without a care in the world.  It was a day like the others before it.... all my youth friends where there.  It was just  a hangout day.  The church was always doing their part to keep us teenagers occupied and out of trouble, but that day... became MY special day.  All my friends got their special day years before I did.  But I never really seemed to think about it until the day it happened to me.  

Its indescribable what a girl feels once her body crosses that bridge from childhood to womanhood.  It's a time when you feel impowered and unstoppable.  Your life is ahead of you and the choices you make can now have ever lasting effects on the rest of your life.  For some reason, at 15... knowing you are in charge of something that big is monumental.  It's a feeling of realization.

Time moves on and you have children and raise a family and then it just stops. For me that was at the age of 50.  It was another realization that that time in my life is over.  Some women think it means they are less a female because they no longer have that power.  That is their realization.  

My realization is that I can be my 15 year old self again without a care in the world.  

I need this

 I have lost 20 lbs since sept.  I am proud of myself.  Giving up ice-cream is hard!!  No-one understands my struggle with that!  

Blessings

 

Sod off Mr. McUppity full of yourself asshat

Your opinion is as valuable to others as others opinion is valuable to you.  Your way of seeing things is not right or wrong... nor the only way of doing things,.  And just because you don’t agree doesn’t make it ridiculous. 

2020 in a single picture

These were clients of mine back in the day.  She is a photographer and this picture cracked me up!  I had to share it.  For future reference it is showing off working from home, the ice storm and losing power for days, even weeks, kids not at school, toilet paper shortage wearing masks, Election year!  And I love that Joe is not wearing pants for a zoom meeting! LOL

My love .... My life

I have fallen in love with my husband again.  

Or maybe still..  

I don't know, but I can't be around him enough.  See him enough.  Kiss him enough!  I miss him every day and I get excited when he calls or drops by work.

Is this normal?  Does this happen in real life?

27 years we have been together.  And I truly love him so much more now then I ever have.

I hold his hand when we sleep, and catch my self doing little things to make him smile.

He laughs at my dumb ass every day.  He makes me laugh every day!  He helps out with every aspect of our life from unloading the dishwasher to mowing acres of our yards.

He has been a very good father to our children.  He loves these grandbabies and enjoys spending time with them.  He even plays BIG DINASOUR!  

How sexy is that?

He is my love and my life.  

 

Life Choices

Yesterday, I was talking to my mother about an old friend of mine and her circumstances.  How her life has turned out.  I am always feeling sorry for her and trying to motivate her to make better choices when my mother said something deep and profound to me that got me to thinking. 

"You started out even."

Oh I have no doubt my friend would disagree, it still doesn't mean it's not a true statement to a degree.

We both started out young & living with  our parents.

We both had parents that where NOT wealthy.

We both had access to extended family.

We started out with a public education from school and a chance to go to college, which she did and I didn't. (until later)

We started out with minimum wage jobs, with shitty boyfriends, with our own cars, and with our health.

When my mom said "you started out even" it made me stop and think... did we? My friend always thinks I had it easier.  Easier?  Maybe... but better?  Lets compare:

I had two parents that were both working... 

    she had two parents, only one was working. But that meant she had a mom that was at home and cooking and cleaning and there to take care of her.  My mom worked and I cooked dinner about 3 nights a week for my dad. 

My parents that did not drink.  

    Her parents drank.

We both had siblings. Hers was younger.  Mine were older and not at home any longer... Plus I had nieces and nephews.

I had parents that I could rely on.  

    She had parents she could rely on.

Both of our families lived in the same income sized house, and neither well off. 

Both of our parents had friends.

 

Both of our parents had the freedoms of religion. which meant at my house we did a lot of church things and I was part of a church youth group and raised by many on lookers.

Everything in those comparisons are choices.  Do you go left or do you go right?  Do you take the easy path or do you take the hard path? Do you go to college, do you get married, do you have kids.... choices are endless and so are the paths.

My thought process is this.... We will always be the product of choices that were made, some of them ours, some of them our parents and some made by someone we put in our lives. You can’t compare your life to others, or assume because they are in a better place it is because of some advantage they had.  Some people work very hard to achieve things.  We drag ourselves out of bad marriages and we raise children alone.  We bury our parents, we lose friendships and we move miles away from our loved ones.  Everyone has missed, achieved and blessed opportunities.    

But the good thing about choices is, there's always another one coming around the corner giving you another chance to make a better life.

That's A Wrap!!

I finished my Christmas shopping today.  Never went to a store.  I am so laying low.... so low!!! I could be the queen of the limbo contests!  Usually this time of year, I am out and about and buying all kinds of things.  But this year I am doing everything online.  I just don't want to catch this darn virus!  

All the gifts should arrive by the 15th and then I can relax.  How is it that men don't have to shop?  Dennis walked in the house yesterday and said.  I am finished with all my Christmas shopping!   He only buys for me!  Must be nice! lol Why is it just my job to do this?  It's stressful!  At any rate.. for Christmas 2020 I am done!  

Saying good-bye

June passed away today.  It's incredibly sad to lose a monarchs of the family, even if you rarely see them.  Something about knowing they are here is often enough. Especially for Dennis who is as low income as they come.  I remember the first time I met her.  She came out to my car on 16th street to talk to me.  She was cleaning out Dennis's refrigerator.  She was sweet and nice to me from that day on.  She accepted me and my children into her family.  I think she knew I was good for Dennis and that I loved him.  Mom's really need to know that.  I am sad that she was in a place where she was unable to really get to spend time with more of her grandchildren.  

There will be no funeral as of now.  I think we will do a memorial once covid is under control.  She will be laid to rest next to Jimmy, so we will have to travel to Guymon.  

Poor Dennis has been a little lost.  It's been hard to watch, but I didn't want to leave him home alone.  He is a practical person, like me.  He understands and accepts how life works.  He thinks crying makes him look weak.  It makes him look realistic to me.  He is mainly watching TV, not doing his usual tinkering around fixing this or cleaning that.  He says he is too busy but I have watched this man for 27 years always find things to keep him busy on purpose. I have to admit I don't like him laying around a lot, it doesn't feel right to me.

We both went back to work today and I missed him.   Hopefully time will help him.  You never get over the loss of a parent, but time is definitely needed.

So Ready!

We are getting things started for the pool today!  I'm so excited to see it laid out!  Ready! Ready! and SO READY!  Expect I don't want them to tear up my yard!  For some reason that thought makes me sad.  It's just grass... but still, we have made memories playing and running and hunting eggs.  I know we will continue to make memories, even better ones... I'm so ready!!!

Too Many Balls!

So, I have decided I must have been a Jester in a past life. 

Goofy shoes, goofy hat.... Seriously, it's the only thing that explains my crazy ass!  This would explain my clumsy feet, weird nature and the constant need  to make a fool of myself.  None of this, however, explains why I trip in the exact same spot every day in the hall way going to my office.

However, I thought a jester knew how to juggle shit without missing a beat.  They throw balls, plates or hatchets on fire or whatever it is they juggle up into the air and then catch them again with a smile on their face!   No effort! 

At any rate, here I am, a clown like creature with a funky hat on and shoes twice the size on my feet, juggling problems, ideas, issues, relationships, projects, staff, work, covid, who is REALLY the next President of the USA... the list is endless these days, and none of it comes back down!  Where they hell did they go?  Are they just staying up there mocking me while I am waiting for them all to crash to the ground.  

They want to screw my day up!

I'm so tired of juggling.  No matter how well I get at juggling, someone ads ONE MORE problem!  

I am stressed to the max with a smile on my face.  It's my own fault.  I am an over achiever and a dreamer.  And unapologetic about neither.  Add a pinch of vanity and you have a jester juggling life I suppose.  

The real fear is, one of the things I am juggling is going to knock into another one  mid air, and before you know it, it will be raining mayhem for days.   

YOLO- So, Achieve Some of your Dreams!

Last Christmas I remembering laying in bed thinking how nice it would be to have a Christmas tree in my bedroom. Soft lights and pretty decorations... relaxing!  We spend time in our room and it’s nice not having to give up time with a tree when you have only a few weeks to enjoy it.  

This year I made it happen.  Now that’s not a big feet, as 6” Christmas trees are not overly expensive.  But the point is, I achieved that small goal because i planned for it and made concessions for it. 

It’s how everything should be.  Big or small.  If you want something...especially something within your power with little to no effort,  make it happen! This will give you practice for the bigger things!

 

Lazy Parenting for the Win!

For the love of Pete!!!!!! Get your kids off the electronics!!!

Someone has to say it! This includes constant tv watching!! Who cares if you worked all day! They are worth your time!!! Wait until they are at least 10 before you expect them to self entertain, ruin their eyes and vegetate their brain!!!

They need to play outside and get exercise and fresh air!! Maybe have some fun playing with their parents! Pull them around in the laundry basket... play outside. Teach them a card or board game! Read a book! I can’t even with some of these Christmas gift ideas I have seen for ages 2 and up!

Kids are going to end up lazy and socially awkward not to mention they are going to end up fat!

.

And just like that.... Tis the season!

No Dancing at the Dance Recital

We drove to Tulsa today to watch Wakely in her first ever dance recital.  She was excited to see us when we got there.  We could see her at the door and hear her hollering for Pop!  She realized that she and I were both wearing a red sweater and she seemed to think that was pretty cool!  

She showed me her pretty red nails and her heart shaped ring, but gave pop a jewel, (even though she and I had more in common).  We counted pony tails and looked at drawings  She showed me her pool and showed Pop her room.  

We followed them to the venue and when I got back from going potty, Wakely asked if I fell in!  At this point it's obvious she has already spent too much time with her pop! 

We hem and hawed about if and when we should put on our masks and took our time finding a seat before deciding on stage left seats.  It came time for all dancers to meet on the stage and off she went.  She followed directions, stood on her mark.  Smiled at her family and then... the music started.

That was apparently the cue for half of them to cry and the other half to stand like deer's in headlights.  Wakely put her whole hand in her mouth, much like her Uncle Mackey use to when he was nervous, and then the tears started. She didn't last on stage for the whole first song and never made it back for an encore.  

SHE. WAS. DONE. 

Maybe when she is 5!

Everyone did their share...

Matthew brought the Turkey and Rolls..

Katie brought the Sweet Potato Crunch

Joanie brought the Cookies

Jessica brought the Corn and the brownies. (Danny brought the brownies)

Dennis Made the Ham

I made the Mashed potato's, Stuffing, Broccoli Rice Casserole, Green Bean Casserole, 18 Deviled Eggs, 4 Layer Dessert, 2 Homemade pumpkin pies, and home made Cherry Cheese cake

It was a pretty nice dinner and we did a great job on not having days of left overs.  

Thanksgivings Gone By

I miss my Carter family that I spent 15 Thanksgivings with. Those were my favorite thanksgivings!  We would see cousins and Aunts and Uncles.  Grandmas and Grandpas.  We said what we were thankful for, we wrote on a table clothe every year, we road four wheelers and went to the movies.  Sometimes we did  crafts after that.  I loved those holidays!  My Aunt Sandy and Uncle Gene put a lot of work into something we just walked into and enjoyed.  Yesterday I spent half the day preparing and pre-gaming!  But thinking of my kids and my sweet grandkids, I was enjoying every bit of it!  Today I’m stuffing my face, enjoying my sweet husband, loving on my kids and playing with my grandbabies and missing those that are no longer with us and those we can't spend our holiday with.  Just because life changes and we do things in a different place, in a different way, or with different people, doesn’t make it a bad thing.  It’s how the world works, and why you should be thankful for what you had then and what you have now.  

Count Down to Thanksgiving...

 

What Fall Looks Like at the Carter's

I'm Bi-seasonal

I broke tradition this weekend.  I started decorating for Christmas BEFORE Thanksgiving!  Even Dennis, who watched from his chair, said: You never decorate before Thanksgiving!  And he's right!  But my fear is that I will get COVID and be sick when it's time to decorate, then have like 2 weeks before Christmas to decorate and not want to because it's a lot of work for 2 weeks of viewing!  

So the front of my house is all Christmas'd out and the back half is Thanksgivingy!  And the sad thing is, I really want to decorate it all for Christmas already!!!! The struggle is real!   Except the one Pumpkin wreath that I made in one of Katie's craft classes. I love that thing and wish I could just keep it up all year long!  

I put a 6' tree up in my bedroom and it is FABULOUS... and I have one in the living room too.  I will put the big one up in the den on Thanksgiving Day after all the company leaves.  I also have 16 Christmas wreaths in my house!  I know... Ridiculous!  My goal is to have all the lite things on a remote so I don't have to unplug anything! 😁

But I am craving Thanksgiving food!  But that is probably because I am dieting and I know Thursday is my cheat day... or maybe the fact that I bought all my Thanksgiving dinner stuff a week ago and I'm ready to eat the stuffing!

Lazy Parenting

You lead by example.  

When you don’t do... your kids are watching. When you let the trash sit for days, when the dishes pile up, when there isn’t a clean towel in the closet.  Your kids are watching. 

When your yard is unkept or your car us full of trash your kids are watching. 

Is this how you are preparing them for life? 

Do you not want them to be successful? 

You can’t sit on your phone for hours while they stare at a screen.  What sort of parenting is that?  Why have a family if your not going to enjoy the few precious years you have with them?  

And they are fleeting.

Use your child’s early years to lay down a proper and strong foundation. Ethics, devotion, determination. Don’t allow these bad habits to settle in. 

Guess What?

 It's Happening!

Coming Summer 2021