Let's Be Real!

People often throw around the phrase, "Have a good day," but let's be real... I need you to tell me to have a productive day! Because, you know, there's a huge difference!

 For me, a good day involves binge-watching Netflix, soaking up the sun while taking a dip in the pool, hitting up Hobby Lobby for some retail therapy, and then enjoying a delicious dinner courtesy of Postmates. 

But a productive day? That's all about keeping my job, my friend! 

It's a whole different ballgame!

Some BS

Let’s talk about Google Review's!  This is why I’m going to start a podcast!  The absolute unfairness of google reviews!

Joanie’s mad

I had an argument with my granddaughter today at school so I called her this evening to see how she was....

Me:  hi Joanie it’s Lolly

~Crickets~

Me:  are you still mad at me?

Joanie : yeah

Me: why are you still mad at me?

Joanie:  because I’m still mad at you.

She’s using her female  logic already  at age 8???! 16 might be a problem for her parents!  After we got off the phone she told Katie... I wanna see my Lolly!

We’ve made up!

Originally posted August 22, 2018

Why you so nasty?

Listen up, folks! There's a fine line between being bougie and taking care of yourself. Now, before you start labeling me as bougie, let me set the record straight. I'm perfectly content lounging around in sweatshirts and pajama bottoms, throwing my hair up, and rocking the same T-shirt for days on end. Some people might confuse my self-care with being bougie, but I think they're just mixing up bougie with having some self-respect. I mean, have you seen the state of fashion these days? People are stepping out in mismatched outfits, wearing clothes that are so last season, or looking like they just rolled out of bed. Me? I take pride in how I present myself to the world. So, if that makes me bougie, then I've gotta ask: Why you so nasty?

Matthew's Walks by Goldie Hawn

My son calls me today while he is vacationing in Colorado.  

Matthew: Mom!  You know how famous people come to Aspen to hang out and stuff???  I just saw your favorite actress!  You know!  The one that has a daughter that's an actress too!

Me: Who?

Matthew: I don't remember her name.

Me:  How should I know if I should be excited or not???

 

So he sends me a picture but it doesn't download.  We talk some more about what he's doing while on vacation then we hang up. 

He calls back 10 minutes later.

Matthew: Mom!  I'm in an Art gallery... and the art here is amazing!  Remember how you told me you would buy me a picture for my entry way wall?  Well..... I found one.  Its the most beautiful painting I've ever seen!  

Meanwhile, the picture he sent me earlier finally loads and it's freaking Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson!!

Me:  OMG! You saw Goldie Hawn and Katie Hudson on the street!?!

Matthew: Yeah,  I walked right by them. I wanted to go back but I left them to live their life.  Anyway...... It's Only $65,000.00!  Can you Venmo me some money? 

Me: 😕 what?

Matthew:  For the picture I found in the art gallery!

Me: 🤣 You gonna use the $25.00 I send you on Venmo, to put that thing on layaway?!?!   Silly boy! Get your ass out of that store and shop somewhere that's more your speed! 

We hang up and I go about my day.  Phone rings again and it's Matthew.

Matthew:  Hey mom.  I'm at a thrift store....

Two Old Farts

I've been struggling with a foot spur, limping around for the past 2 weeks. But today, Dennis injured his back in a seemingly innocent way - by just turning around in the laundry room! Our neighborhood has been dealing with power surges that mess up our A/C, so after Dennis fixed it in the attic, he asked me for help to close the attic door. He's walking with a hunch, and I'm walking with a swagger. We joked about getting older, and he even said it might be time for us to consider living in an assisted living center.

I Beg Your Pardon!!!

Laying by Sammi as she played on her tablet...

Me:  guess I’ll take a little nap.

Sammi: no lolly I don’t want you to sleep.  

Me:  why?!?

Sammi: because you make noises when you sleep!

Me: what kind of notices!!!

Sammi: 😴😴😴😴loud ones!

Diets Sucks

Eating clean has its perks but I would rather have chocolate!  I’m 57!  What do I care what my weight is!  I like comfort food! Give me a big ole greasy Cheeseburger or some fried chicken legs!  O well…. We are what we eat, right? So basically, I look like a carrot stick right now. #healthylifestyle