Sad

I miss my daddy tonight.  Been thinking about him a lot lately.  I haven’t felt like I have parents in a long time.   I think I’m missing being someone’s little girl.  

Oklahoma skies after a tornado out break

After the storm

Outside Paradise

This is what I get for my birthday now?!?

On February 7 I turned 57.  OK not a big deal,  57‘s not a big deal right???  Except that’s the day that my body said fuck you!

I got a UTI so I went to the doctor on my birthday and started medicine and it didn’t go away cut to today’s date which is May 10 I’m still Ballin with this feeling of feeling like I have to go to the bathroom although I’m better now. Come to find out it’s part of menopause yup. Good. Old. Menopause. 

I thought I went through that when I stopped having periods and I had hot flashes. Guess there’s a whole lot of things for menopause like weight gain and sleeplessness and night sweats and vertigo and UTIs and atrophy of the female parts. I tell you one thing I’m gonna make sure Katie is aware of what menopause it’s really like because I had no idea.

I did hormone replacement therapy and it messed with my uterus so I had to have surgery and then I had this bladder issue. When they say getting old is not for sissies they really mean it.

And I can tell you one thing that I have discovered for all this as you get older you’re OK with death because feeling like shit is not the way you want to live your life. LOL I think menopause is like the teenagers. You know the years that plan you to be okay with your children not to live with you anymore? Yes it’s like that it prepares you to say goodbye to life because you don’t want to live this way anymore. Menopause is just another way to let you feel like shit off and on so you are prepared and willing to say “ bye Felicia” and check out of the world. Lol 

God has a plan and I think I figured it out.🤣😂🤣

TikTok

Man about a year ago I discovered TikTok and now I just can’t get off of the damn thing. I even have some of my own that’s made and if I could figure out a way to put it on my blob I will. One of them went viral with 45,000 views of course it’s of a grandchild.

Over Easter weekend Dennis got Covid and I have the funniest video of him out of the backyard so if I can figure that out I’ll post it.  

If I happen to figure it out go ahead and take a look at all my TikTok’s ‘s if they’re even still up 🤣

Dennis has Covid

Is my time wasted here?

I often write my feelings down in my blog and I printed out two books. I didn’t print went out for 2021 because I didn’t have a lot of entries and I don’t know that anyone will read this. I started the blog years and years ago just to have a place to unwind and put things on paper that bothered me. I don’t really want it to be a bitch fest I just wanted it to be something I could look back on and reflect how I felt in different times of my life. 

I think it’s time for me to start putting my feelings down again so that I can reflect on them as my mind is forgetting a lot of things lol.

I spent Mother’s Day at home Matthew came to see me and bought me an ice cream maker and Katie and then made me dinner and brought it to me and I got to eat with their cute little loving family. He made me jambalaya and I love that stuff. Maybe I should’ve been Kasian. Anyway I had a really good Mother’s Day and got to visit with my sweet children. 

I snuck off to Hobby lobby a couple of weeks ago and I bought a windmill that I had been wanting to go in our backyard and told Dennis that it was my Mother’s Day present lol but I sure do enjoy it and he would’ve never thought to buy it for me.

Mother’s Day 2022

I went to see my mom on Mother’s Day not doing that my sister and her husband were there. It was a nice surprise and we all got to visit. It always makes it easier to go see mom when other people are there because mom doesn’t talk much. It also makes the time go a little faster and gives her some entertainment.

This girl is losing teeth now.

There is no pleasing me.

I don’t want to be by myself, but I want to be left alone.  My marriage allows me this luxury.  I have a pretty low maintenance husband.  He has allowed me creative time, quiet time, cleaning time, entertainment time…. He is always a close but never bothersome. Is that normal?  Or normal for us?