Get Into the Christmas Spirit

I asked Dennis how to spell a word and he looked at me like I lost my mind, and since he had no idea how to spell it, ( and probably doesn't even know what it means ) he said.... Use a different word!

Rated R conversation with my husband….

Dennis left to go out with some buddies and forgot his phone… so he called me from his friend‘s phone and told me they were going to the casino after they ate.

Dennis: (teasing me) don’t wait up!   (It was 5 in the evening…the man goes to bed at 8!) 

Me: yeah… well you just be sure to call me befor you head this way.

Dennis: why? 

Me: So I can send my boyfriend home… duh! 😜

Later… phone rings

Dennis:  we’re on our way home. 

Me:  Well shit!  We ain’t done yet!

Dennis: Hell… I would have been done an hour ago!!

Raven:  And that’s why I got a boyfriend!

I’m not forgetful!!

Omg I just realized why I don’t inform  people until the last minute about things going on…. I don’t think about it cause it’s not my nature to be gossiping!  This is mind blowing to me. 

Wakely came and stayed with us over the weekend and said her nose was running off her face! LOL  

In sickness and in health they weren’t kidding

It’s really easy to take these vows when you’re young and vibrant.  Your whole life in front of you and you’ve got health and stamina muscle tone. Last couple years have been hard on me healthwise …not anything major but very trying. First I had LPR which is burning of the esophagus where is Spinctor doesn’t wanna work … let’s heart burn go up your throat and burns your voice box.  No more signing for me.  I lost and entire octave of notes.  Hurts!!  lost about 20 lbs during that process so that was a plus

2nd thing was Vertigo!  Practically all of 2018 but I think I’ve got it kind of mapped out a little bit and then if I get a vertigo episode.  I kind of know what to do and I don’t freak out as bad. I had PTSD from it though.  

Then menopause hits and I’m like we’re gonna try hormone replacement therapy.  I don’t think that was a very good idea because after I went to the pellet my uterine lining went from what is supposed to be which is 4 mm to 11.6 mm. So they had to do a DNC and in the process that somethings going on with my uterus,  my bladder goes to shit!  It’s the most painful thing I’ve ever gone through including childbirth.  

Dennis has been nothing but supportive through everything I’ve had. I think it’s important that when you’re young and dumb and getting married you should remember that these vows mean something and I would not have made it through these last few weeks without Dennis. I feel sorry for those who don’t have this because I really don’t know how to survived. 

For everything there is a season

Because you have a big group of friends when your little you think you always need that. In reality, once you get married and start a family,  there is not much time left for that type of friends. 

I often wonder where my big group of friends went.  And how I enjoyed them.  But then realize I realize I replaced them with my kids.  I am investing in my own future when I am with my family.

I could easily have friends over, eating, drinking, gossiping ... but it takes lots of work to keep in a friends circle,  and frankly you open yourself up to being stepped on and taken advantage of.  The truth is, I don’t want to deal with their problems when I don’t have my own. 

I’d rather watch Netflix. 

I see single moms with group friends and then I see neglected kids.  **Friendships if not proportioned correctly once you have kids can destroy the family unit.**

For everything there is a season.  The season for a big group of friends is in your childhood. 

In the old days

This is an aerial shot of the house I grew up in and my elementary school.  This is the distance I would walk by myself s a little girl. I didn’t walk with friends.. I walked alone most of the time. I walk home for lunch and back too. Our neighborhood was right by Ft Sill and a main Gate plus two Main Streets in a military town that was so big we had 26 elements schools, 4 junior highs, 3 high schools and a college. 

I remember walking home and looking up at the green trees against a blue sky without a care in the world. I remember telling myself to remember those days cause I knew at some point I’d grow up.  

I was a scaridy cat… but never really thought to be scared to walk by myself to and from school at such a young age. Sure couldn’t do it now. 

Sad

I miss my daddy tonight.  Been thinking about him a lot lately.  I haven’t felt like I have parents in a long time.   I think I’m missing being someone’s little girl.  

Oklahoma skies after a tornado out break

After the storm

Outside Paradise

This is what I get for my birthday now?!?

On February 7 I turned 57.  OK not a big deal,  57‘s not a big deal right???  Except that’s the day that my body said fuck you!

I got a UTI so I went to the doctor on my birthday and started medicine and it didn’t go away cut to today’s date which is May 10 I’m still Ballin with this feeling of feeling like I have to go to the bathroom although I’m better now. Come to find out it’s part of menopause yup. Good. Old. Menopause. 

I thought I went through that when I stopped having periods and I had hot flashes. Guess there’s a whole lot of things for menopause like weight gain and sleeplessness and night sweats and vertigo and UTIs and atrophy of the female parts. I tell you one thing I’m gonna make sure Katie is aware of what menopause it’s really like because I had no idea.

I did hormone replacement therapy and it messed with my uterus so I had to have surgery and then I had this bladder issue. When they say getting old is not for sissies they really mean it.

And I can tell you one thing that I have discovered for all this as you get older you’re OK with death because feeling like shit is not the way you want to live your life. LOL I think menopause is like the teenagers. You know the years that plan you to be okay with your children not to live with you anymore? Yes it’s like that it prepares you to say goodbye to life because you don’t want to live this way anymore. Menopause is just another way to let you feel like shit off and on so you are prepared and willing to say “ bye Felicia” and check out of the world. Lol 

God has a plan and I think I figured it out.🤣😂🤣

TikTok

Man about a year ago I discovered TikTok and now I just can’t get off of the damn thing. I even have some of my own that’s made and if I could figure out a way to put it on my blob I will. One of them went viral with 45,000 views of course it’s of a grandchild.

Over Easter weekend Dennis got Covid and I have the funniest video of him out of the backyard so if I can figure that out I’ll post it.  

If I happen to figure it out go ahead and take a look at all my TikTok’s ‘s if they’re even still up 🤣

Dennis has Covid

Is my time wasted here?

I often write my feelings down in my blog and I printed out two books. I didn’t print went out for 2021 because I didn’t have a lot of entries and I don’t know that anyone will read this. I started the blog years and years ago just to have a place to unwind and put things on paper that bothered me. I don’t really want it to be a bitch fest I just wanted it to be something I could look back on and reflect how I felt in different times of my life. 

I think it’s time for me to start putting my feelings down again so that I can reflect on them as my mind is forgetting a lot of things lol.

I spent Mother’s Day at home Matthew came to see me and bought me an ice cream maker and Katie and then made me dinner and brought it to me and I got to eat with their cute little loving family. He made me jambalaya and I love that stuff. Maybe I should’ve been Kasian. Anyway I had a really good Mother’s Day and got to visit with my sweet children. 

I snuck off to Hobby lobby a couple of weeks ago and I bought a windmill that I had been wanting to go in our backyard and told Dennis that it was my Mother’s Day present lol but I sure do enjoy it and he would’ve never thought to buy it for me.

Mother’s Day 2022

I went to see my mom on Mother’s Day not doing that my sister and her husband were there. It was a nice surprise and we all got to visit. It always makes it easier to go see mom when other people are there because mom doesn’t talk much. It also makes the time go a little faster and gives her some entertainment.

This girl is losing teeth now.

There is no pleasing me.

I don’t want to be by myself, but I want to be left alone.  My marriage allows me this luxury.  I have a pretty low maintenance husband.  He has allowed me creative time, quiet time, cleaning time, entertainment time…. He is always a close but never bothersome. Is that normal?  Or normal for us?

I smell cinnamon rolls

Dennis made cinnamon rolls for breakfast while I was still in bed.  Once they were done he came in the bedroom and kept saying:  

Dennis:  Come on….Get up….Come on.

Me: I am…. Stop talking to me like I’m a dog! 🤣

Dennis: I’m not!  😘 I’m talking to you like my beautiful wife!

Good save Dennis!