Happy New Year!

Tonight I got to spend my new years with these guys!  No better way to spend it!  I have always known you should spend this night with people you want to spend your year with.  It's how I have celebrated this holiday since Tanner was born!

Happy New Year!!!

Everyone has a chapter in their lives they don't read out loud.

Dennis is a big baby!

At The beginning of the year we got a new king size bed. For the most part we really enjoyed it but on occasion, while I am sleeping, I apparently feel around for him in the middle of the night. Used to, in our queen size bed my whole body stay right next to his.... of course he'd be hanging on the side of the bed every morning and complain about that! But I knew where he was. This morning he lodge a new complaint...

Dennis: Hey you need to quit hitting me in the face.

Raven: What do you mean hit you in the face? 

Dennis: You hit me in my face every night! 

Raven: I do not hit you in your face!  Why would I hit you in your face?

Dennis: I don’t know but I need to stop! You’re waking me up and it's pissing me off!

        Oh big whoop!  I'm scared... NOT

Raven: I’m just looking for you because this bed is so big!  Stop being a baby!  Obviously I'm doing this in my sleep!  Why would I hit you in the face on purpose?!?

        He just grunted at me. So I reminded him.

Raven: You should enjoy me hitting you in the face!!  One day I won’t be here to do that.

Dennis;  Oh yeah where are you going to be?

Raven: I’ll be dead!

Dennis:  Oh good!  Then I will finally get a good night sleep!  But... for now... stop it!!!

Don't trust everything you see, even salt can look like sugar.

Midlife has something to say.... are you listening?

''I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:

I’m not screwing around. 

It’s time. 

All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.

Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.

Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”

Picture of the night!

Matthews blanket

I don’t sew.  It’s a known fact.  I can hot glue gun stuff all day long, but I can’t sew.  Then... I decided  to make a t-shirt blanket for Matthew.  it's official.. I have lost my mind.

I worked on this labor of love for three weeks during all my free time and watch lots of youtube videos.  My iron kept turning off and I had to run to hobby lobby 3 times to get forgotten things.  I watched an entire season of Dawson's Creek making this.  Stepped on several needles, lost my mind on threading the bobbins and went through 3 cutting razors!

I had to tear out 4 seams and at one point I had the king size blanket on the floor trying to figure out how to get the batting situated.  It was an adventure... and it in NO WAY looks great... but from far away it will pass as "nice" & it is really comfy.  I even sewed  a small pocket on the inside for his remote.

Hopefully, the thought behind it means more the it's worth. and he seemed happy when he opened it.... plus I got a big hug,so that's considered a win right?!  And his big smile made all those evenings sewing until 3 a.m. worth it.

However... I am still so glad that project is over, and never again will I make another one with 30, 12X12 squares!  It would fit a King sizes bed.

Our Staff Christmas Party 2019 Is in the books!

For the Love of GOD.... let me watch netflix!

Man!!!!!   I have done a lot of work over the last month!!!

       .... really, its been since July when we broke ground on the new building.

From catching them building the building completely backwards, to having to open with a temporary occupancy... It's been a whirlwind!  From breaking ground to open was 4 months!   Ordering equipment, arranging classrooms, enrolling kids.... that alone is enough, but then.....

Halloween and all the preparing and decorating and the parties.
Thanksgiving where we do the meal for the parents  This year we had 70 parents come.
Then Christmas!  At Daycare, Christmas is not only putting up the trees and getting the lobby all decorating but it's contests, Christmas parties, pajama days, movie days....
Then there is the every day running a business thing... 27 staff, 130 kids... throw in a visit from DHS!!  ... because, why not!?!

I have done all the shopping and decorating for my house!   I did all the wrapping, and have made all the preparation for Christmas eve!  I even made three presents... one of which took me 3 weeks to complete!

And did I mention Dennis has been sitting in his chair for the last month nursing a pulled groin and a hurt back!  And he keeps telling me I need to slow down cause I am working too hard.

WHO THE ?????  will do all this if I don't?  Don't be an dumbass Dennis!  There are deadlines to meet!!  You can't wait to get stuff ready for Christmas  AFTER CHRISTMAS! lol

I keep thinking I have to undecorate in about 1 week and it feels like I just put it up!  Thanksgiving being a week late is very noticeable!!!  I have hardly got to enjoy any of it being so busy or hiding off in my room cause Dennis has been hold up in his chair... watching dumb shows!! (Plus my house looks so good!!)  Next year I am doing a tree in my bedroom so at least I can enjoy a tree in there! and it will keep me in the Christmas spirit when I am wrapping presents on my bed and watching Christmas movies.

Ahhh, I complain about being busy but the truth is... Dennis wants me to retire in like 5 years and most likely..... I won't.  I can't stand NOT to be busy.  and weekends are so boring half the time I can't wait to get back to the land of the living!   I like being busy and feeling needed and I really like earning money! (Cause I like to spend it!)

But still... I do like an occasional day to slow down and binge watch netflix and eat chocolate.

People: When you’re over 50 and they say put a bandaid where it hurts.

Me:

An Important Birthday

Today we celebrated our fearless leaders day of birth.  He turned 61!  The grand kids talked about it all day and were excited to have a night with their pop.  Traffic was crazy trying to get home from work and by the time we got back to the restaurant we were the last ones to get there. All the kids greeted him loudly... and the grand kids were all hollering for pop!!!  Dennis thought it was just going to be us for dinner and was surprised to see the kids and friends.

Steve and Tracey came at the drop of a hat, which was so nice!  literally they had zero notice!  Steve said Dennis is lucky he is Dennis! lol  I didn't even have time to call Guy and Denise who I know would have been there too!  Everything happened fast!

We all sat at this long table and the grand kids were in and out and up and down and under the table.  going between whatever family member they wanted to see.  But the were all so good! Evelyn would NOT leave her pops side.  She kept telling him she had a pocket..  And Sammi sat at his other side and talk in her Sammi talk!    Of course, the damn politics talk started!  Ben is very smart with that.  Tanner is great at explaining it to dummies like me and Matthew just wants to stir the pot!

After we ate, the kids gave dad his presents and hugs all around as we left.  I think he had a good time and know how important he is to his family.

Damn Inconvenience

Yes Netflix!!!!!  I am still watching!!  Don't make me have to get up to get the remote or completely move all my food from around me to find it!  Why does it ask anyway?  It's okay if I fall asleep or get up to go to the bathroom or even scroll my phone!  That's what the rewind button is for!

Let me know how that works for ya!

Dennis walked by me in the kitchen today and slapped my butt.  I gave him the stink eye and he laughed at me.

Me: Why do men hit women

Dennis: Cause their idiots!

Raven:  Well you’re an idiot and have never hit me.

Dennis:  Not yet!

Me:  Let me know how that works out for ya..... after you pick yourself up off the floor of course.

Fast Weekends

This weekend I finished up the major project I have been working on... for most of my life.... okay ... just for the last few weeks, but it has consumed my time , and I have been filled with fear that I wouldn’t get it done.  Mainly because  I had no idea what I was doing! I can’t  divulge what it is  now ... but I will post a picture later.

Last night Katie and Joanie came over to get their jewelry aunt Gayla sent to us girls and Joanie noticed the new toys I bought for our house.  She wanted to take them home... But I told her it was important to have toys here too.  Today I got the house cleaned and 4 out of 7 piles of the grand babies presents wrapped. I will finish the rest this next weekend I hope.... and  I also got to spend a few hours with Sammi and Danny While Tanner and Jessica went to the movies with friends!  They are so good and so much fun to be around!  We played, ate snack and dinner and watched a movie in lolly and pops bed. 

The weekend goes faster when your busy... If  had anymore to do it wouldn't fill like a weekend at all!

Learning to wait...

I am going to tear down some pages on this blog at the end of this month.  Ready to put up some new ideas and creations.  Going to have new blogs for you to follow and have a new look.  I have had alot going on in my life since I started this blog 10+ years ago.  But now I am ready to with new ideas for the new year.  It's exciting but I keep forgetting and almost publish them before Jan1!  Oppsie!  NOT YET!

I have no patiences people!

Guess who doesn't like Santa?

I need rehab....

Bed Full of Presents

I have a bed full of presents and I held back on the spending!  WTH...How do I have a bed full of presents when I purposely bought less?  I know I spent less!   Never mind how they are all possibly going to fit under the tree.... wrapping them is going to give me carpal tunnel syndrome!  Having grandchildren is worst then having kids when it comes to presents.  But I know they will like what Pop and I got them.  If only I could get Pop to help wrap them!

Smart Ass Husband

I told Dennis my feet are always cold. What does that mean?  Is it cold feet warm heart?  Or warm heart cold feet....

He looked at me with a bored look and told me:  it means put some socks on.
😒

Weekends aren't long enough

Another weekend in the books and I stayed busy the entire time!  I am not sure if it is because Christmas is coming, or because I was so busy with the new addition that I fell behind or that Dennis has been gimpy for so long... but I have been enjoying being so busy!  I find that for some reason I like it.   I am working on some secret projects for Christmas that have taken most of the weekend and still not done.  But man I am enjoying doing them.  I think about how some day I might not get around as well and I really enjoy this freedom, I pray I never lose it.  Anyway, I enjoy days of being home with Dennis and watching HULU and just being quiet together.

You know, you might wanna take a long hard look in the mirror. And see if the person staring back at you is the kind of person you want to be.

It's hard when you miss people.  But you know if you miss them, that means you're lucky.  It means you had someone special in your life, someone worth missing.

Mom & Dad Christmas 2010

A picture is worth a thousand words.....

A Night at the Christmas Lights

It was a great evening to be at the park! 67 Degrees, no wind... couldn't ask for better weather in December. They had a Christmas for the kids on route 66 (Main street) so we took the kids there and watched carolers, took a picture in a snow globe, ate sonic and met Santa. Joanie even gave Benji a crash course in saying the alphabet in Spanish.

Then we took the kids to the Christmas lights in the park. It's a massive display of lights. The kids danced and took pictures and 'oohed and awed over different displays. It takes about 30 minutes to briskly walk through it and then another 30 to walk back. Evelyn lost her play cell phone a few times where we had to double back to find it and we saw her often looking at it saying 'cheese'. We assumed she was taking selfies!

By the time we got to the car and started to leave, Benji said... I'm done, turn the lights off! lol And Evelyn just wanted a Beer! We made her repeat it 3 times.... eventually we realized she was asking for her "Bear" that was on the floorboard of the van.

What a fun evening to spend with kids. Everything is so new to them, it really makes you stop and appreciate things again.

As we strain to gasp the things we desire the things we think will make our lives better: money, popularity, fame... we ignore what truly matters ... the simple things... like friendship, family, love. The things we probably already had.

Matthew's pick up lines

1 - Did you sit on some sugar, cause you have a sweet AZZZZZ
2 - I forgot my library card, but can I check you out?
3 - I hurt my knee falling for you.
4 - If you were a tropical fruit you would be a fine-apple
5 - Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
6 - Does your left eye hurt cause you been looking right all day
7 - Your body is 65 % water and I'm thirsty
8 - Do you work at starbucks cause I like you a latte
9 - Are you a banana? Cause I find you a-peeling

P.S. He also said if you use any of these you will be single for LIFE!

Table 1 Raven 0

I dropped a table on my foot today at the daycare.  It is a very heavy table and it slide right down and smacked me across all my toes as I took it out of the box.    ... and I cussed like a banji! Right in the middle of the classroom I was working in.  I’m so glad I was the only one in there😬 because  school agers would all be learning a new vocabulary!  Anyway, Dennis showed up like 5 minutes later and worried over my foot for a whole 2 minutes before he called me a dumbass, but he took pity on my crippled ass and finished putting the tables together for me. He is my hero on a daily!

A Movie Invitation

As I’m walking up to the movie theatre... I can see the reflection of my grandchildren’s little red tennis shoes, stamping back and forth... as I get closer I realize they are watching me walk up to the door.  Their little bodies dance with excitement and they yell out my name while they run to hug me as soon as I open the door.  This is a memory I will keep forever.  

It's Christmas time.....

4 Day weekend

I have been crazy busy since Wednesday and today is Saturday!  We had the annual Thanksgiving dinner for the daycare parents and this year there was 69 in attendance.  Then I cooked for an entire evening for our dinner.  Spent Thanksgiving cooking and eating and cleaning up.  Yesterday I put up all the Christmas decor and the tree.  Today I cleaned up the house, organized the toys and went to the movies.  I also took a much needed nap!  :) 

A four day weekend sure goes fast when you got shit to do!

You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices. Or you can fight back. Things aren’t always going to be fair in the real world. That’s just the way it is. But for the most part, you get what you give. Rest of your life is being shaped right now. With the dreams you chase, the choices you make, and the person you decide to be. The rest of your life is a long time. And the rest of your life starts right now

The Turkey Aside

Thanksgiving is behind us and with it, all the crazy crap that goes with it!  Our menu was basic for the most part.  Ham, Potatoes stuffing, broccoli rice... some vegan dishes...We added other things as we do every year to mix it up a little... but the big thing I added this year was the turkey.  I haven't had a turkey in years and I haven't cooked one even longer then that.

First off there was no tag on the Turkey... so I tell Ben to weight it on the bathroom scales.  But they don't have scales so he has to call his neighbor to borrow his.  That's not an awkward conversation.  We guessed 10... it  was 14lbs! 

Katie comes over to teach me how to boil eggs in the pressure cooker.  It makes crazy noises and I thought it would explode egg all over the ceiling and wake up Dennis but it actually boiled the eggs in 6 minutes and they were so easy to peel. 

In the middle of making three separate desserts my mixer quit.  The motor actually freezes up and sounds like it's choking to death.  Katie had to bring me hers so I could finish them.

One of my burner dials was broken... cost $20 to buy a new one... 

I almost forgot to make the stuffing and the rolls! 

We were suppose to eat at 1 but didn't eat until 2...  and the grand kids where all over the house and the living room looked like it threw up toys! 

On the Plus side ... My kitchen is so big that at one point 5 of us where in here cooking at the same time and never bumped into each other or got in each others way.

And I got to eat Turkey this Thanksgiving!

Decisions ... Decisions!

The Christmas tree needs it's own space and my job is to figure out where that's going to be.  Every year it's been in a different spot.  Dennis likes it in the living room so you can see it from our big window... but that's where the kids play so I feel like  we are sitting ourselves up for failure putting it in there plus... there is a strong possibility that it wouldn't survive until Christmas. 

I like it in the family room where we can enjoy it every evening while we watch TV or eat dinner.  I work for hours on it and I feel like we would get more use of it,  if it is in the family room.  Every space will require a rearrangement of the room... which  I don't mind, but I don't want to do it more then once. 

Then there is all the other things I decorate with...  the nativity scene, the wreaths, the snowmen!  I think I needed a bigger house!

Work is good for the soul

First time I sat down this weekend was 8:30 tonight! Got a lot done... house cleaned, sheets changed, laundry done, thanksgiving shopping done, classroom ready, a little grandbabies birthday celebrated, went to el RENO to visit my mom... cooked super... I’m done!! I need another day to rest before this next busy week!

My Dramatic Husband

Dennis and I have not been feeling well off and on all week. One day I’m trying to take care of him and the next day he is taking care of me... this was our conversation today...

Me: My eyes are burning!

Dennis: MY eyes have been burning today too!
Then after a ‘pregnant pause’ he added: I think someone is trying to kills us!

And I’m the thespian???!!

Dennis and I have not been feeling well off and on all week.  One day I’m trying to take care of him and the next day he is taking care of me... thus was our conversation today...

Me:  My eyes are burning!

Dennis: MY eyes have been burning today too!

Then after a ‘pregnant pause’ he added: I think someone is trying to kills us!  

And I’m the thespian???!!

Weekend is over... let’s recap

This was a busy weekend for me.  Preparing for the holiday, finishing up the last classroom of the school building... this weekend needs a third day!

Shots on Tuesday and Thursday meant driving to the city each day,  still working to 6 each night.  

Saturday was full of chores.  

You work to build a life .... yet you stay so busy you have no life. Lol  maybe this is what they mean when the say “on the rat wheel”!!

All this for one picture!

If you know me you know I like pictures. I like to take them, I like to scrap them, I like to frame them.  They are my trophies of my life.  We got our family pictures taken on October 20, first time we were able to get all of us together for a professional family photos in 23 years. Of course it was windy because the original date we had picked out that Tanner couldn’t make it to was perfect LOL. 

Considering the wind, they all turned out pretty good. I really just wanted a big family picture so I could put it on my wall. Little did I know that I was going to have to spend two hours or more to completely rearranging my family wall. I had to take every single picture down ...every nail out ...go buy two new frames ...figure out what to do with three pictures that I didn’t use and find a better picture of Evelyn!  It was worth it!  My wall looks great! 

Gearing up for the holidays!

I love it when my family gets together for the holidays.  We're 17 strong and loud!  I have music theatre children in the family... they have learned to project their voices.... so no matter what room they are in, or even if they are outside... we hear them loud and clear!

I love it!

Dennis?  Not so much!

He is never to sure once the loudness starts and  the kids are asking 30 questions and all fighting over the same toy.  He looks defeated when people make messes and then walk into another room and make another mess.

The door opens and closes so many times and he thinks I have cooked too much food and just knows he will have to eat leftovers for 3 weeks. We are several families coming together for one meal and the time is always an issue for someone.

I miss having Thanksgiving  at Aunt Sandy's and Uncle Genes.  When all I did was made a couple dishes to bring to the party!  It was the best holiday then.  Eating food, visiting with family, riding 4 wheelers and going to the movies.  Then I would come home and decorate for Christmas while Dennis went to work and the kids played.

I am working hard on making it a fun holiday here too... but it's a lot of work!  I just keep telling myself that I have a 4 day weekend to recuperate!  (the only one I have all year)  And Decorate for Christmas.... so there's that....

Road Trips

Last Sunday, Dennis and I went to one of our granddaughters birthday parties.  You really learn a lot about a person on a road trip.  For instants... while trying to load the address of our destination in the road maps we were talking about which way to head out of town.  All Roads lead to Rome after all.  I thought we should go one way, but he thought we should go another.  He said.. well... I go
both ways. 

Really.........

That's something I didn't know about!  25 years with somebody....... ya think you know a person.

He quickly corrected me with a stern look.

After we pick up Matthew and Cole, I break out the snacks.  No road trip is complete without snacks.  About 30 minutes into the trip, Dennis spots a bug in the car and automatically starts in about all the gnats we have had (2 months ago) and seems to fall into some type of PTSD from the memory and then tells me it's all my fault we have bugs cause I shop at Sprouts!

WTF!!??

His theory is... everything that comes from Sprouts brings gnats to the house...He kills the ONE bug in the car and continues to eat the snacks.

Besides his taste in music on our road trips, this man surprises me daily!

Happy Halloween

Slutty Brownies

My heart!

Pop & I went and spent our Saturday night with our grandbabies so that Katie and Ben could go out to eat for their anniversary.  Joanie told me that she loved me more then the numbers she could count! 

Sisters will always be too loud at night

My sister came down to see mom and stayed with me for a few nights.  We had a blast while she was here.  We stayed up too late and giggled while playing with snapchat!  I am surprised Dennis didn't yell at us! 

One night we made some popcorn and found a good movie to watch and we somehow got on the topic of flying from watching The movie "Men of Honor'.  Not sure how since that movie is about diving. 

Anyway, I told her that I could fly in my dreams but I didn't use my arms like wings.. I used my legs like when I tread water to stay above water.  Hmmm, okay that would make since with the movie...

I explained that I have to turn my legs to the right, bending them at the knees and kick them fast like a mermaids tail and the faster I kick them the higher I go and the longer I can stay up in the air.  There is just one catch... because I have to have them to one side... I can only go left, so I basically fly like a crab... sideways.

My sister laughed so hard at the thought of my flying sideways.  We were way too loud for it being 1:00 a.m.

My granddaughter skips by my class ... stops... and comes back with a smile and asks: 'DO you have a treat for me today lollie?" How can I not!?!?

TIred as Hell

For the last two days I can hardly hold my eyes open!  I don't know if it's because ragweed is high or if I have a virus or what!  But I can not  stay awake!

Family Pictures

We had our 1st EVER family pictures take today and it was really fun!  I refused to stress over it and go any further with instructions other then "dress in fall colors".  We all met at the Bluff creek park by Lake hefner and just enjoyed a day at the park.  It was windy and my hair was crazy, but I didn't let it stress me out.  I just went with the flow and decided to let the photographer worry with positions and angles.

All my kids called me afterward and commented on how much fun they had and how it wasn't stressful at all.  The babies were all so good too!  They are all little hams anyway!  Sammi was the ring leader and lead Wakely and Benji to running in the field... but other then that, it was a great family day!  When I  finally saw our family pictures  Benji's face reminded me again how perfect the day way!

Family Pictures!

We had a great day taking family pictures.  The wind was crazy so we have a lot of blowing hairdews but we laughed a lot and found out we were expecting grandbaby # 8!  

This picture looks great... And Benji made it authentic!  I ordered a 5X7, but I ordered the one with him smiling in the 16X20! lol  

Go to the light

In my town there are literally 11 traffic lights with in 2 miles.  It's a bitch!  IF you catch one red light, it only turns green for you to catch the next on red.... and repeat that process 10 more times.  That in itself is beyond frustrating... Now ad the people that want to turn in between the lights and back up traffic by 10 or more cars.  I can't understand why people do that.  It should be a law that you use the light closest to your destination to turn.  I wanna hit bumpers all the way to work!

Don't make me get my basket out!!!

I'm having a love/hate relationship with all of our technology.  I know it's a great thing.... but it seems to be screwing up social skills and the way family spends time together.  I hate to see people that are together in thier seperate worlds on their phones talking to people that aren't there.  How are they more important then the ones that ARE there.  I would love to have a basket at the front door for cells phones with a sign that says "Drop it here, or go elsewhere"!

Being home is a relaxing time for me.  Stress is everywhere outside of these walls... but my house is full of all my favorite things and when I am here, I am calm.  

You may have the "right" to say something.... but that doesn't give you the business too..

Walking in my shoes...

Just because you see who I am now does not mean my walk through life was easy.

At age 5 I developed anxiety.  I ate rolaids like candy,  I was diagnosed with A.D.D. and had a hard time with school work and jobs because of that.  Still to this day I struggle with it.

At age 8 I struggled with irrational fear and how my body worked.  I couldn't understand how my eyes didn't fall out.  I was worried that my nails would grow completely off.  Weird things like that.  I was afraid of the drain in the tub... mainly because my sister told me I would go down it and never see my parents again.  I never picked my nose cause I was told the boogers would eat my finger off.  I thought there was two men in my closet just waiting for me to be alone so they could kidnap me and take me back into the closet and I would never get out again.... The struggle is real for kids....

At 15 I suffered a firework accident and lost my sight in my right eye for 3 days.  1/4 inch over and I would have lost it permanently.

At 16, I was in a bad wreck with my mom.. we were hit by a drunk driver that slammed us hard the first time spinning us around and then she tried to flee the accident and hit us a few more times.  I suffered whiplash and have had on going issues of that for decades.

At 20 I  married a drug dealer.  (unknowingly)  I left a law student for this guy!  (Face palm).

At 21 I kicked drug dealer out when I was 5 months pregnant & divorced him.  He went to prison and was there for years off and on until recently I believe. 

At 22 I had my first baby (from the drug dealer)  He was born at an Indian hospital and the next day his dad came to see him  and brought his girlfriend.  Seriously. He never had anything to do with my son and didn't pay child support. I moved into a low rent duplex paying $30 a month for rent and worked in a town 32 miles away driving to get there in a car that was not good enough to be in a junk yard.  Many times I had to call for rides and often had to walk a mile to get my clothes out of the laundry mat before they closed.  I had a ton of great friends so those years are really some of my fondest!

At 23 I married an abusive alcoholic who was also a cheater.

At 24 I had a baby with abusive alcoholic

At 25 I divorced abusive alcoholic and moved to a town 6 hours from my parents just to get away from him because he would always hunt me down.  I had two children ages 1 and 3.  HE followed me. But my brother showed up at his house with a gun and the D.A. and convinced him to move back to Lawton. lol

At age 25-29 I was a single mom working as a secretary in a CPA office and managing Apartments, sometimes painting an entire 2 bedroom apartment by myself, cleaning the kitchen, shampooing the rugs.   It was too much for me with two small kids so I started to work at a daycare center and moved to a house but rarely made enough to cover rent, let alone the utilities.   I was on food stamps, childcare assistance  and Medicare.  I quit working in the daycare when they left my 3 year old daughter in a room by herself  with her nose in the corner while they went to a park across the street.  Completely forgot about her.

Several families moved their kids to my home and I started watching kids in my home in 1992.  I got off all help from the government  made enough to pay my bill and buy a new car!  I was able to be a stay at home hands on mom.   

In 1994, one of my daycare dads worked with "this guy" he wanted to set me up with... so I had a blind date, married him, and had baby.  Another one of my daycare dads said... "Raven if I knew you were looking for a husband I would have asked you out on a date! " lol  We are friends to this day!

We raised all the kids in a great gingerbread two story old home with a full front porch that had a separate daycare room and it was a blast!  I watched kids in my home for 7 years. I was the provider, the cook the accountant... Hosted happy hour with my families every friday after work... Because I kept the same kids for years and we were all friends.  I had two root canals 3 wisdom teeth pulled and had a baby.  Only missing 17 days!

In 1999 I bought out a church daycare owned by Oklahoma State House of Representatives Gus Blackwell and his wife,  and moved it into a house  I bought on Main street in Guymon.  We remodeled it and opened it in 3 months.  I owned that for 11 years.

In 2007 I fought with Empty Nest and literally painted all my rooms in my house a dark color... even one was black! 

In 2010 I sold that daycare in 7 days over Facebook making a large profit and moved to Yukon to raise my youngest son in a more diverse school system.  I was suppose to be retired.... It lasted 3 months and I went to work at Gods Little Blessings.  That was a great ran center!  It made me miss mine. 

Missing the hands on with my last kid I started to work for the Yukon school system for 2 years and when I was approached by my builder about building me a center.... I jumped on it, against my husbands advice.... and opened my center in 2013. 

Now I get to work with my family and see my grandbabies every day!  Hopefully I will retire in the next 10 years and get to spend time at home and enjoy all the things I have worked so hard for. 

Worms in my purse

It’s ok to find yourself on a different path then you expected.  To not be the cool hip person you thought you where destined to be.  Other wise, I would still be digging up worms and keeping them in my purse. 

No I was not a weird kid...  My dad was a fishermen and bought worms to bait his trot lines.  I thought if I dug them up at recess I could sell them to him and make a little dough on the side.  But my bait business when south when my mother found I was stashing the worms with mud in my black patent church purse. (That's another story...)

Anyway, I hear it all the time..."I didn't use to do that", or "I didn't use to feel that way" or "this is not where I pictured myself at this age."  ... Well good!  If your 54 and still relating to your 16 year old self you have some serious problems, cookie!

When you're in your 30's, reality usually hits.  It says... "Yeah... This is your life!  And this is what it looks like!?"  And you think, but I'm not a movie star or married to a rich person or live in a 4 story barbie dream house with 32 rooms and a maid.  Instead you have 3  kids, all your moms old furniture, bills and a broken car with 7 loads of laundry still not done, spoiled milk in the fridge,  and no time to go shopping!

It's not just our bodies that change. Our minds, our attitudes, our beliefs...all change. We are constantly becoming who we are meant to be.  I use to stay up all night and still be able to function the next day.  I can't do that anymore.  Hell..... I use to be able to dance for 3 or 4 hours a night and now I get winded dancing to one song in my car! ( I'm totally out of shape.)

Sometimes I look forward to coming home and getting in bed  by 7:00 to watch tv for the evening! ( I hear its a common thing. )   But it doesn't have to be a bad thing.  And somehow I have really enjoyed the life of being a mom and having a job and just being a normal person with a normal life!  I'm okay with this path. 

The Czech Fest 2019

We took the cousins to the carnival last night and we had a blast!  The bigger kids  are the only ones that got to ride things, but I think the little kids liked being part of the lights.This is the first year that All but Sammi went to a carnival and even Benji rode the rides and he is our cautious one!  I could hear the screaming on the little dragon roller coaster from all of them!  I love spending time with my growing little family.

Jealousy...... I see you

Here Squirrelly, Squirrelly, Squirrelly...

I don't know why I got a squirrel as part of my fall decorations... I don't think of squirrels as a fall thing.  Especially since I had a few of them living in my backyard before and they mainly put in an appearance during the spring and summer months.  Regardless, I saw it at Kirkland's and thought: what a cute little decoration....  

Toby, (my dog), did not share in my enthusiasm.  

The first day, he tried to size up this beast from the wild, sitting on his fireplace holding what seemed to be food.  He barked while jumping toward it like he was some bad ass, ninja fighting, super hero dog... only to fall short and  cower backwards to bark at it again from a safer distance...

(one step forward... there steps back).

After about a day or two of this strange dance off, he seemed to notice the squirrel was showing no interest in him, and that it was not edible food he was holding,  Toby finally calmed down and got use to the idea and decided to leave him alone, but not without a couple of sideways glances from across the room... just for good measure.  

For the most part he seems to have forgotten about him....Until I make the squirrel chase him around  making growling noise.  

Squirrel 234

Toby 0

Why you walking like a zombie down the isle?

You ever get behind someone that drives slow or takes forever to turn making you have to practically come to a dead stop?  Try shopping behind a woman who acts like shes the only one with that isles right of way.

The. Entire. Isle

Today while doing my weekly shopping, I get behind a women pushing the big blue kid cart.  So this thing is wide and extra long.  She has one kid in it and the kid is talking his head off and the mom is just agreeing to agree... she obviously isn't listening to him.  And she is obviously not aware of me behind her as she lollygags her way not only down the isle but from side to side so that I can't even move past her.

That was the longest isle of my life!

Just as we reach the end I think I can squeeze around her to go the opposite direction even though I needed to go the way she was turning, another person came in that way making me get back right behind her and guess what?  ....

Yeah!  She stopped to get cookies at the END CAP! 

As soon as I was able to get around her I went back to my shopping, but I avoided her and turned the opposite direction every time I saw her!

My kid the YouTuber

One of my kids is a you-tuber.  I don't even know how to spell that word, or if it is EVEN a word, but you get the gist of what I mean.  He's a poor college student and wanted to have something creative to do while he was on summer break that wouldn't cost money.  He had a you tube channel when he was younger called 'koolerthanu' so he kinda knew a little bit about it.  He thought this would be a fun way to remember he summer too.  

He has learned some funny editing skills and made a lot of friends while doing this.  Some of them are funny and some are just silly.  Each video is about different things and he often has friends in the videos with him.  This is one that he decided to do with me.  I always have fun hanging out with this kid.  

So be sure and give it a thumbs up after you watch it and subscribe if you want to see more!

Make Better Choices

I am not one to sit ideally by and just "want" a better existence. Life is short and I learned at the age of 23 that I can't count on other people to get where I want to be.  I was never one to try and marry for money. 

No, I am too much of a romantic. 

I'm ambitious. I am a planner, and I am determined.  But more importantly,  I make choices based on things I want to happen... and if my choices don't supply the demand I had in mind to reach my goal, then I make new choices. 

Me... where I am today, is thanks to me and my dreams my goals and my aspirations.  I am not saying I was not blessed by others along the way, but I chose who I put in my life... and who I got rid of.

Don't count on other people to get you were you want to be in your life.  Don't blame others if you aren't where you think you should be.  The spot your standing in right now is YEARS of your own choices. 

Get an education... build up a network... set some goals... make sacrifices... make better choices.....

A Win Day

So here I am, on my back porch on a Saturday afternoon.  I'ts a sunny and a comfortable 86 degrees.   I love sitting on the patio and getting some vitamin D while watching Netflix or reading a book... today writing the blog.  I hear the wind and see the big fluffy clouds and for some reason, it reminds me of a day I had as a little girl.  Sometimes smells of a breeze takes me back to a different time.  I like it when that happens.  It reaffirms what a great childhood I had. All my life I can remember looking up into the vast sky. 

Walking home from elementary school I would look up at the trees against the sky and wonder what my life would be like in the future.  Wondering if I would have a future.  I remember doing that on my back patio in Guymon when I was in my 30/40's while I listened to my son and neighborhood kids playing basketball in the park behind our house.  I seem to create an outdoor living space  at my homes because somehow it always calls to me to look at the sky.  So on days like these, when the sky is blue and the clouds are white and full,  I can sit and enjoy not only the present but reminisce about the past. It's a win day!

I need SLEEP! Not creativity in the wee hours

I am not sleeping.  I mean I probably would if I just shut my eyes, but my brain wont' shut up!    This is my 2nd night this week I am wide awake at 3 in the morning. 

There is nothing to do at 3 a.m  First off,  I can't start anything cause it's 3 A.M.  And I can't be loud.  I can't do anything without being loud.. just ask Dennis. 

Now, at 3, 4 or even 7 p.m. I am so tired I can't stand myself.  But something about night wakes me up! 

I hear that creativity comes to the night owls.  But as you can clearly see by reading my blog that is not always the case. 

I'm just glad I don't have an early schedule because sometimes the only sleep I get is the early mornings.

What are you guilty of?

You KNOW you are doing something you shouldn't be doing if you have to instill a GAG ORDER on an ex employee.  *insert eye roll here*.  I am amazed by people every day.  EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Feeling Some Sort Of Way

I have tried to write this blog for a few days now.  Sometimes... you just can’t put your feelings into words no matter how you try.  I am trying to be very careful not to mix actual events with actual feelings.  The event that brought about these feelings is not important, but rather the way it made me feel is.  Truth is, this isn't the first time someone has made me feel this way and sadly it probably won't be the last.  People are not perfect.

I am not perfect.

I am sad to realize some people live double lives.  That no matter what you think you know about someone... you don't always know.  It's not like the quiet at home persona most of us are... or the at home personality you have that only your spouse or your kids see... it's a completely different life... like 'you have a whole other family in Wisconsin' life!   It is a secret that you live with and hide from people, so they don't know the real you, or the things you do when no one is watching you..... The things you hide in the very back drawer so no one knows you have them.

Me?  I am an open book.  I am blunt, even tacky.  My best friend says I have no filter.  She is right.  I don't menace words.  Of course there are things I don't like about  this personality trait of mine:  I don't have empathy for idiots or people that make the same choices and expect different results. 

But that does not make me heartless.

It makes me a realist! 

I don't do fake, and let me tell you... I recognize fake when I see it.  I do not use people, although I do believe that you can outgrow and move in a different direction from some people.  And I believe you have people passing through your life all the time... but that does not mean they are meant to stay in your life.

But the person that lives a double life is who I feel sorry for.  I would imagine it would be hard and exhausting to keep up that charade.  That is just wasting Energy that could be used to better yourself.  And the frustration that is left in the wake of these people is unfathomable. 

And sometimes you have to know when to cut your losses.

So, I can't be focusing my energy on this anymore.  I am too busy and I have so many great things going on in my life. I have to cut ties and move forward and not feel an ounce of regret for the people that come in and out of my life.  Because somehow they have taught me something I needed to know. 

Words that last...

You even have a moment where you know THAT moment is going to live on for ever?  That you will be able to recall exactly what you were talking about and where you were sitting and doing while you had a conversation?  The conversation itself was insignificant.  But the one line used will be a catch phrase I will use for a long time. 

We have several from my childhood. 

"Anyone want to go to the library?"  When My dad would decide to take a bath.....
"The bus is too big."  When the neighborhood boys wanted the girls to leave them along.
"Don't drop it in the beans"  When I wanted to see the picture everyone at the dinner table was looking at.  I was 6 or 7....

More recently, "Why you gotta be a bitch?"  Me cussing at Katie's desk when we were putting together in her new office at midnight.

Today I was talking on the phone to a friend of mine and laughed so hard I literally spit my drink all over my desk when she said. "I don't even have my teeth yet!" I can't even remember what we were talking about, totally insignificant.....

HOT AS HELL

Oh My Gosh!  Where is Fall?  I realize it is technically fall, but I'm so tired of the heat!  I feel like I need a turban on my head as I walk just the two car lengths from my parking spot to the front door. And my makeup disappears by the time I get to the door... well disappears is a strong word.. it's still there it's just in a puddle around my knee caps.

Tapping Out

Today I woke up to a wake up call.   Not that I had an alarm set or anything that rang or told me to get up.  Just that I realized I don't need to be worried about things I have no control over.  Truth is, I'm not about it.  It takes effort to play this tired game and I'm tapping out.  I am moving on and getting things done.  Staying positive and letting the Universe handle the rest.  I'm good with that.  

I have a bully in my life.  How did this happen?  Lord have mercy on this poor pathetic person.  She gonna need it!  lol  Hmmmmm. wonder how things will work out for her?  My guess.... probably not well.  Your move... Let's go.

Life Lesson could suck Less

It’s depressing to go to work now.  I am very sad by the current events and really bummed about having to be put in the position to play the role of an adult and a business owner.  Sometimes, you have to make hard choices.  And just because you make them and move on doesn't mean you’re okay. 

Why is it acceptable for people to be idiots, but not acceptable for me to point it out?

Is it old age that makes you less able to deal with idiots?  I mean, what is it about getting older that screams... "Here let me do that for you?"  I have not volunteered for this extra stuff, because I do not want to do this extra stuff.  I have my own stuff to do.  I don't have time or the desire to do your stuff too!
No this is not making sense, but I have to write in cryptic so the guilty parties don't realize I am talking about them.  (My therapy blog remember?)
You know when it's fun to read my blog?  Years later when I am trying to figure out what the hell I was talking about!  This blog will have me baffled, I'm sure!  (Note to self:  It didn't make sense when I wrote it either)!

Over Night Kids

I kept 3 of my grand babies last Friday night just for fun!  I haven't really had them over much cause they are all so little, ad so much work, but I thought I would test the waters.... stick my toe in as it were, to see how well I could handle it.

It was FUN & crazy!

They are really good kids.  They are pretty self entertaining, but want things readily available and if it isn't, Joanie is the one that will ask where it is, and WHEN will it be available... and then she will ask you 14 more times until you get that done to her satisfaction.

Benji is good playing alone... He likes the dinosaurs I have for him and the cars.... he also likes to be left alone and isn't good at being teased.  He hasn't learned that personality trait yet.

Evelyn is the easiest  of the three to care for.  She goes with the flow and is perfectly happy playing with the lid of the bubbles and a pay spoon.  If she ever appears to be unhappy  just feed her!

Moving to High Tech Stuff

So here's the thing.  I'm not your average bear.  I have learned to stay awake all winter even when I want to sleep... why?  Because there is work to do!  Damn!  Is it October yet?

So today we had some worker bees at the center getting things geared up for the new addition.  I would like to say I was happy to see it but I was running around like crazy!

I caught Abel as he was leaving to ask what they got done today because all I heard was "They are in the ceiling somewhere" from Katie. :O  It's such a whirl wind I don't even know what they are suppose to be doing!

Maybe tomorrow I can actually get to stop and take a peek. I will have new cameras and new door plates and new phones with a headset...(personally most excited for) and some contraption where I can see who is at the front door from my office!   I am always fascinated by what technology can do.

Old people! Sheesh!

The other day I was at the new building with the heat & air guys.  David, the owner, just got a new trailer... and I could NOT talk Hecto, the site foreman, to help me hide it.  I said... it's on wheels!  All we have to do is unhook it and roll it over there behind the vans!!  I could tell he thought about it for a minute... but would not do it!  Why you gotta be an adult dude!?!

Unwinding

After an extremely hectic couple of days at work, my daughter thought we needed to unwind a bit.  So she rallied my daughter in-law and a good friend to go out for dinner and drinks.  I got there late of course and as I was looking for them a waiter came up to me and ask if I was looking for my party.  Then he said, you look familiar.... then he pointed to Katie sitting at he table and said.... that’s your party.  I laughed and said... how did you know???  He said you look just like her!  Needless to say any man that thinks I look like a 30 year old gets a decent tip from me!

Midnight Shenanigans

It's quiet in the house. I can hear the distant noise of the box fan in our room down the hall and a soft ticking of the clock in our family room. I'm working on odd and ends stuff on the computer before I got to bed and decided to listen to a little bit of Iron and Wine.

Realizing I don't have  the amazon app on my computer, I install it. Once its installed I sign in and then ask Alexa to play Iron and Wine, which is a singer song writer easy listening group... Only my Alexa from across the room is listening to me and I am not paying attention to the blue ring on the device as it lights up. Next thing I know, Alexa, who is still turned to high heaven from my weekend cleaning spree shouts: PLAYING MUSIC FROM IRON & WINE! Its so loud it can't hear me yelling at it, and then it begins to play the loudest Iron and Wine song EVER! I can't get away from the bar fast enough and to Alexa that's across my large kitchen! Now Dennis is awake and the dogs are in here looking at me! Midnight is NOT the time for these shenanigans! Now I can't get back into my work mode.

Gearing up for Someday

Man I'm busy. Always something to do, some place to be, or some bill to pay! I'm trying to gather my wits daily, but I feel like as I am dumping them into my basket they are falling out of a hole in the bottom! It's never ending. I am a woman on a mission and all the people that are helping me are on SLOW MOTION! Where is your speed control button?! When I find it.... I'm pushin' it!


'Someday soon' I will be placing orders (as soon as they can be delivered)...

'Someday soon' I will be putting together furniture.

'Someday soon' I will be arranging 5 new classrooms

'Someday soon' I will be separating toys and creating "Well Defined Centers"

'Someday soon' I will be compiling a library

'Someday soon' I will be enrolling and hiring and "firing"


I need things to move along so my' Someday soon' doesn't have to happen all in the same week!

But the yearbook is done! 1 down.....1,283,495 to go

Sweet girl....

My granddaughter Joanie, is learning about family, feelings and pets in Preschool this month.  She drew this picture yesterday and I may never leave the daycare again!!!

When Enough is Enough.....

Ya know... I thought I was handling things okay... Building in July is hot, so rarely is there a full 8 hour day by any crew that shows up. Moving the dirt has stirred up my allergy symptoms somewhat. I expected that. I double up on meds and shower off every day once I get home. We have handled the rain and the mud being tracked in everywhere. Even after the carpets were shampoo'ed. All the equipment that goes into the new building is now in my hallways and every extra spare space I have. I have only asked about 100 times for them to move their cars so the garbage truck could get to the dumpster. I have dealt with the broken water hose they left out in the parking lot that was completely flattened. Blowing my breaker time and time again causing all 4 computers to abruptly shut down while they use our power, not to mention the nice bald spot I have under my door where the extension cord is so they had 'said' power. The building inspectors that still has yet to show up. The building being built completely backwards and having to move walls three times in different directions. The toilets that are in the wrong part of the rooms and 8 windows being built in the wrong place and the 2 that were completely missing. I have even handled the crazy idea of them wanting to put a flume right in the middle of my toddlers playground. And where is the garage door again? But when I heard tale that my ceiling has a community of brown recluse spiders in it, enough is enough already! I have to draw the line. So pest control as been called, bombs will be set up, and all my personal belongings have been moved to a completely different location! Adios Amigos! Enough of this shit!



Spiders 1,
Raven... Out of here!


Hope you guys enjoy the building, rents due on the 1st!

Never Forget

The New Design

I haven't been on my blogger in what seems like forever!  I have a whole new computer system since the last time I seriously blogged and I basically had to reteach myself this entire program.  It's not like riding a bike!  Nope!  They keep changing the way things work when you aren't looking!  I had a background on there from 2014 and NO idea how to change it.  But I was determined, so 4 YouTube videos and finally reading the directions in front of my face later.... it's a done thing!  Hello Pretty fall background!   I am now ready  to begin a new series of blogs about absolutely nothing.  You're welcome!

Where You Heading?

I would love to see a road map of my life... I imagine it looks like a jumbled mess... like Dallas or Houston ... lol.  All roads lead to Rome, or so they say... I’m just glad I’m not where I started.  Some people are not so lucky.  They make the same choices and don't understand why they end up in the exact same places not getting any further to the place they need to be.  I have learned to appreciate scenic routes... and coming to the conclusion that short cuts are not always the best roads to travel.

Photo by Dennis Carter