Proof Read

I got my printed book of my blog today.  Its a hard back book and so cool!  I designed the cover and had my trademark picture on the front.  I really like it! It was 194 pages!   Who knew I had that much to say!?!  :)  But literally... it is 8 years worth. 

It will be such a cool thing to have for years to come.  So many times I thought I had  accidently deleted my blog... stressed me out TO THE MAX!!!  Now I have the piece of mind that I have a hard copy of it if I ever do delete in on accident. 

However, seeing it in print I have learned a valuable lesson.... PROOF READ! 

A Family of Six

I am an only child.

Not really but I might as well have been.  

All my siblings were into double digits when I was born and by the time I got old enough to socialize with the family they were moving out.  So basically I was raised alone.  I was left to my own devices a lot during family gatherings because what fun is it to have a little sister tag along?  

With me being such a late addition to the family, all my cousins were older too.  I did have some that were around my age, but even at that, they were 3 years older than me. That is a lot when they are preteens and you are a scrawny 10 year old.  I had one cousin one year younger, but he was a boy and we didn't see him as often.  It made family gathers rather boring. I never really felt left out, I just never felt I belonged.

I 'm thinking having close in age siblings in the house as you are growing up is very important.  It really teaches you about life and communication. I think not having that created a lasting effect on my view of relationships.  I am not overly close to anyone in my family.  I love them all.  In my 20's, I was very close to one of my sisters. But the other sister moved moved far away when I was 14 and has never lived close by again.  Relationships take effort and effort requires living close enough to see each other.  

Having no one in the house my age I did not learn to fight or to compromise.  I didn't have to share a lot of things.  No one to really confide in that I could trust and noone to have my back.  I had some great friends, but friends are not like siblings... They can't cover your ass when your trying to sneak in or help you talk your parents into something you really want.  I did learn to be more assertive and to just do what I needed to get something done. This is when I learned it was easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. 

I literally lived at home with my mom and dad and it was just us three most times.  I had friends that I played with all the time and my mom let them stay the night often so my childhood was fun and busy.  I never felt lonely... I just felt like an only child.

My brothers and sisters came over to visit a lot and by the time I was 12, I had a nephew.  It was nice to have a baby in the family that wasn't me!  Soon after I noticed boys and then had boyfriends until they turned into husbands.

I was very close to my parents and my children were very close to them because of that.  I was 46 when my dad passed away and we were all together to view him for the last time and someone said, lets just stay here for a second because this will be the last time it is just the 6 of us.  It was a sobering thought as the last time I remember it being the six of us I was 8. It's still weird to think that we were a family of 6 when I always felt like we are a family of 3.  

When did I get here?

54 years old and done raising kids (for the most part) watching tv in bed with my husband... at 7:30 in the evening!  Dozing off  just trying to wait for the 10 o'clock news!  WTHeck happened?!? 

Cleaning

We got all the Christmas stuff packed away.  It took most of the day and I even took a picture of my house as it sat in shambles with pieces of Christmas all torn apart around it.  There was so happiness or joy in the process, no singing or watching a corney hallmark movie.  It was pure hell! Lol  every year i wonder why i put so much out to start with and then come the next November, I can’t wait to get it all back out again!  It’s like motherhood amnesia!!   As an added bonus ... this year, Dennis wanted ya to organize and clean out all the tubs..... not just the ones labeled “Christmas”.  So 

What's in a name anyway?

I haven't been called Rinkydink in over 8 years.  That was the name my dad use to call me.  But what’s in a name?  Something I’ve been called all your life, a term of endearment that no one else called you but you know it’s the very essence of who you are...

... or who you use to be.

It’s sad that we only appreciate such things when we have no idea it won’t last forever.  For me, I was called that for 46 years.  It's weird to know I exist in a world that he is no longer a part of.  But to remember the name I was once called with love and affection means more to me then he would have ever guessed.