I went to the Doc's office last week because I had a mole that itched and then stung when I scratched it. I hate moles.. they are pesky little wart like wanna-be's!I get in fairly quickly which is not normal. Usually there is a long wait. When I get back to the room my doctor comes is like right away with the big gun. I am getting excited thinking that I can get rid of some of these things, however, she looks at my mole and says ... "hmmm I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Really? Your a doctor, your suppose to know what this is."
Doc: "No I will cut it out and send it off to have a biopsy done to it."
Okay wait... what? Where's the gun? Use the gun!
Me: "So basically it is slow today and you are bored?"
Doc: "Yeah I need to make more money today and you have insurance right?"
She goes on to explain, "What I will do is make a small incision and cut it out and then stitch you up.
She leaves and comes back with a shot.
Doc: "I am going to numb the area in here, and then take you to the procedure room."
Me: "You expect me to walk after you give me a numbing shot?"
Doc: "It's only going to numb your shoulder."
So she tells me... "This shot is gonna sting."
Well that makes no sense! Give me a shot so I don't feel anything but the shot is going to sting? What kind of rinkydink outfit are you running here!?!?!
After she SLOWLY gives me this stinging shot... which I think she rather enjoyed... she has me walk
to the "Procedure room" where she hands me a clipboard with a piece of paper on it.
Doc: "Here sign this. It basically says you can lose your life, but allows me to do this anyway."
Oh!! Is that all! Where's the pen?!?!
I hold my arm sleeve out of her way and I guess she cuts on my arm. Apparently the stinging shot works, cause I really couldn't feel anything.
Then I hear her say... "Well crap! Stupid me!"
This is NOT something I really want to hear when someone is cutting on my arm, especially if I can't feel it. I could be losing a limb right now and not even know it!!!
Me: "What?"
Doc: "I set the tool I need down over there when I wasn't done with it."
Me: "Can't you reach it?"
Doc: "Yes, but now it isn't sterile."
Me: "Well... I did sign that paper....."
Doc: "True!....."
I tell her that I had not come to the doctor to be cut on. And that I had not had stitches since I was a new born. So I would like a lot of stitches... so I can play the sympathy card all day and get stuff done for me at home. :)
Doc: "How many do you want?"
Me: "Twenty two!"
Doc: "I can give you three!"
Me: "Okay! That'll work!"
I get to go next week to get the stitches out and find out the results. Then I hope to have her remove more of these pesky things with a gun this time!!