Life Choices

Yesterday, I was talking to my mother about an old friend of mine and her circumstances.  How her life has turned out.  I am always feeling sorry for her and trying to motivate her to make better choices when my mother said something deep and profound to me that got me to thinking. 

"You started out even."

Oh I have no doubt my friend would disagree, it still doesn't mean it's not a true statement to a degree.

We both started out young & living with  our parents.

We both had parents that where NOT wealthy.

We both had access to extended family.

We started out with a public education from school and a chance to go to college, which she did and I didn't. (until later)

We started out with minimum wage jobs, with shitty boyfriends, with our own cars, and with our health.

When my mom said "you started out even" it made me stop and think... did we? My friend always thinks I had it easier.  Easier?  Maybe... but better?  Lets compare:

I had two parents that were both working... 

    she had two parents, only one was working. But that meant she had a mom that was at home and cooking and cleaning and there to take care of her.  My mom worked and I cooked dinner about 3 nights a week for my dad. 

My parents that did not drink.  

    Her parents drank.

We both had siblings. Hers was younger.  Mine were older and not at home any longer... Plus I had nieces and nephews.

I had parents that I could rely on.  

    She had parents she could rely on.

Both of our families lived in the same income sized house, and neither well off. 

Both of our parents had friends.

 

Both of our parents had the freedoms of religion. which meant at my house we did a lot of church things and I was part of a church youth group and raised by many on lookers.

Everything in those comparisons are choices.  Do you go left or do you go right?  Do you take the easy path or do you take the hard path? Do you go to college, do you get married, do you have kids.... choices are endless and so are the paths.

My thought process is this.... We will always be the product of choices that were made, some of them ours, some of them our parents and some made by someone we put in our lives. You can’t compare your life to others, or assume because they are in a better place it is because of some advantage they had.  Some people work very hard to achieve things.  We drag ourselves out of bad marriages and we raise children alone.  We bury our parents, we lose friendships and we move miles away from our loved ones.  Everyone has missed, achieved and blessed opportunities.    

But the good thing about choices is, there's always another one coming around the corner giving you another chance to make a better life.