My GPS is on Crack!

I am not a traveler.  I would like to be, but sadly, not the case.  I did have a plan though.  An idea so crazy and wild that I can't believe I actually did it.... I bought a Garmin! 

I was so excited to get one because it would give me some freedom to travel in the big city in which I live without depending on my loving husband to get off his ass and take me places... Plus he never seemed to want to take me to Hobby Lobby or Places where "I spend money"!

As good as this plan was however, my Garmin got old.  As fast as our town was growing in the last 2 years since I purchased her, she became outdated. She became CA-ranky and stubborn. She couldn't even find her way home anymore, damn thing! Personally, I think she is menopausal!

Because she was a whopping $50.00 on Black Friday where I snagged her at 6:00 am......  We looked into possibly getting a "map update". It would cost roughly $99 to update her... basically the cost of a new one and let's face it.... Why fix it when you can get a BRAND NEW ONE!!!!!  One that has a bigger screen, better graphics, more options!  But Dennis, being the frugal man that he is... didn't see the point!  Why do you always burst my bubble DC!

So last week I go to Midwest City for an appointment... I type in the address of my destination and head out on the highway.  I get about 3/4 way there.. crusin down I40 listening to '50 Shades of Grey' on my kindle and BAM!... I run into construction..  I can not turn where she is telling me too.. because there is NO ROAD and the GPS freaks out!!!  I look down at the screen in a panic and my car looks like it is flying over gray nothingness!!!  She starts yelling at me: RECALCULATING...RECALCULATING And then wanted me to make a U turn!  IN THE MIDDLE OF I40!  She is so old and outdated, could not figure an alternative route!  She had no idea there was construction there and was flustered!  Finally she told me to sod off and I was on my own!  Why does she hate me???  So, I got out my IPhone, which I hate to use for this purpose bacause it is ass backwards...  and found my destination with little time to spare. 

When I was done with my appointment, I went straight to walmart and bought a brand new GPS.  One that was not menopausal.  My new one was calm, cool and collected... knew where all the construction was, helped me avoid it and knew exactly where we lived!  Money well spent!